Surreal
by hurricaneblast
Summary: After Bella's mysterious 'switch' with Jessica Stanley, Bella tries desperately to get back to her old body. A new friend is made and an old friend is lost. What should Bella do?
1. Surreal

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. If I owned it, I wouldn't even be here. ^_^

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Chapter 1 - **S U R R E A L**

"Bella is so annoying-"

"I'm what?"

"I never said anything about you," Lauren replied, in apparent confusion.

Yeah, right. "I just heard you," I wanted to tell her.

I did not understand how this could happen. One second I was with Edward, and now I was with Lauren; it was like I teleported or something.

The pull, the weird feel of the force- like she was being sucked in to a new world, in fact, it was so real, it was hard to believe that I was actually awake.

No, silly, I'm just imagining this.

"Where are we?" I asked her cautiously.

"You're at your house, Jess," Lauren reminded me. I was so confused. I wasn't Jess.

I was Bella. She needs a trip to the optometrist.

"Relax. Did you get brain damage from the accident?" she joked.

"Accident?" I asked. From what I know, I've never been to an accident.

"That was yesterday, you know. A car hit you, Jess-"

"What are you talking about? I'm not Jess!" I retorted. Why did she have to keep calling me Jess? I want to get a glass of water in the table. It had a circular mirror in front, where I saw right in front of my eyes, JESSICA. I looked at myself in the mirror again to get a proper look. I was looking at myself.

Bella, relax, I told myself. What was wrong with me? Oh, I get it. I was dreaming. Again. I fell asleep while I was with Edward, and now, I'm about to wake up. Damn it, why can't Edward wake me up already? Lauren sighed.

"You're Jess, I'm Lauren, and we're at your house. What's wrong with you?" she asked, frowning. She said it very slowly, as if talking to a 5 year old.

"Nothing," I replied, calmly. I was dreaming. That explains it.

I walked, limping to the strange unfamiliar rooms in the place that was supposed to be my house.

"Jess, the rooms aren't moving. You don't have to look around; they'll still be there later," she said, grinning.

I. Don't. Get. It. It wasn't funny!

There she was, grinning. Out of all the dreams I've had, which had to be hundreds, this was the most intolerable dream. I was, somehow, inside Jessica. So if I was in Jessica's body…Then she had to be in mine!

"Lauren," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I need to see Bella."

"Why?"

"It's- urgent."

"Can't that wait?"

"No," I said. If this was a dream, maybe I could at least do something to turn this nightmare into something like an adventure. As if I never had enough of horror. This dream was unbearable enough to be called a nightmare.

"Bella didn't come to school yesterday," she replied hastily, as if that would make me change my mind.

"Yeah, I know. I felt sick yesterday," I said, thinking of how I saw the blood-typing of another class.

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't go home?" she asked me,

"I did. I just told you, I felt sick, so I went home," I replied, bewildered.

Lauren laughed. She seemed to find something funny with what I said. Strange. There was no trace of humor in my statement. At least, that's what I intended.

"Jess, Jess. I get it. You're not Jess, you're Bella, correct?"

I nodded. This was a dream. Being truthful is no problem. It shouldn't be.

"Well," she said, grabbing a pen, and hitting it lightly on my head.

"Wake-up, Jess. This is reality. I don't know what that car accident did, but you are certainly not Bella. You're Jessica."

Wake-up. Ha. She doesn't know how much I want that to happen.

"Lauren, I'm not Jessica," I said slowly. Why wasn't Edward waking me up yet?

"Jessica. Jessica. Jessica. That's your name. Don't tell me you deluded yourself into thinking you're Bella. You're not that much of a fan of her, are you?"

"Lauren, listen. My name is Bella Swan, and I need to go see my body, and I need to talk to Edward. Understand?"

Oops. That would've sounded weird to someone who didn't understand my situation. And Lauren certainly didn't understand it.

"Edward? Don't tell me you're thinking Edward is your boyfriend. He's Bella's," she said, looking amused.

Crap. If Jessica was in my body, then she was me for the time being. In short, Edward is her boyfriend. I winced at the thought. This dream's very… creative. It was certainly different from the rest.

I was now certain Lauren needed tons of explanation, but that would come later. I needed to go see Bella. No- I am Bella. I needed to go see my body. Or more accurately, I needed to see Jess.

I walked out of the house, looking around. Without my truck, this was going to be a long walk.

"Jess, where are you going?" she asked.

"To my house," I said icily. It was clear she didn't believe me. And it was no use trying to convince her, either.

Again, she seemed to find this funny.

"Why don't you use your car?" she asked me.

"Car?" I asked.

"Oh, right. Well, Bella, you're Jess now, right? So use her car."

"My keys?" I asked.

"In your pocket."

"Right," I replied, searching for keys.

"A little help, please?" I asked, searching for the right key out of all the other keys. Each varied in shape- it was all so confusing. My estimate was that there were 15 keys in here.

"The smallest one with green tape," she replied quickly. I found it. It had a green tape stuck on the top part of the key; an identification that it was her car's.

The next 30 minutes was a blur. Lauren was riding the car with me, seeming more amused, rather than feel concerned that her friend was thinking she was someone else.

She wasn't as panicky as I'd expected.

"So you're Bella?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"But you're Jess," she said, stating it as a fact.

"Haven't you ever thought that the inexplicable could happen?" I told her, carefully looking up to see her expression.

"Haven't you thought maybe you're watching too much TV?" she answered, unworried, care-free.

"No. I don't really watch TV. I read books."

Lauren laughed.

"What is so funny?" I replied, exasperated.

"Jess, you always watch TV."

"Well, in case it's not yet apparent to you, at the moment, I'm Bella."

"You say that like you think you'll go back to normal."

"I will," I replied confidently.

"Really?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'll wake up soon," I responded cheerfully.

"So now you think this is a dream?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah. Edward will wake me up."

"Jess, I had no idea you still have some interest with Edward Cullen. I would've thought you moved on to Mike," she said.

"I told you, I'm Bella."

"You're just saying that because you like Edward Cullen so much, right?"

I didn't respond. It was so silly to be arguing like this.

I finally reached home. So eager to find my body, I found the door open, and quickly entered.

No one was there; no sign that anyone had returned yet.

I was disappointed- Most of all, frustrated.

"Jess, this is ridiculous," Lauren said.

"You think if I bang my head on the wall it'll work?" I asked, desperate.

"Jess-"

"I know, I know. I just really, really want to go back to my body."

Lauren laughed.

"You're crazy, Bella, no- Jess, it's funny-"

"Bella," I corrected, exasperated.

"But really, what's the banging part for?"

"So I could wake up," I replied softly.

Droplets of rain began falling on the roof. It got heavier and heavier each passing second.

"Are you going to tell me when you're going home?" asked Lauren.

"You can go home if you want to. I'm staying," I replied, sitting on the couch.

"Never mind me going home. What's your dad going to think?"

Finally. I'm acknowledged as Bella.

Lauren continued:

"Don't get me wrong- It's not that I believe you. It's just that you'll keep correcting me. Besides, even if you are Bella, which is not possible, but even if you are, what's others going to think?"

I sat down, speechless. I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't plan all of this.

What was I going to say?

"I need to know when my body comes back," I groaned.

"There's always school," Lauren said.

It took me a few seconds for it to register in my head.

"No," I replied.

"I'll be sleeping over tonight, I could help-"

"I will not endure any more time staying in Jessica's body!"

"Come on, it can't be that bad."

"I need to see Edward," I said.

"Bella, you need to go. Do you have to explain to your dad why you're in his house?"

"This is my house!"

"Bella- listen! Look at yourself! You look exactly like Jessica. Every single part of your physical appearance indicates that you're Jessica. How can you prove that to your dad?"

Tears flowed down my cheeks.

"He'll understand. He'll know," I whispered.

"Be rational. You still look like Jessica. Let's just talk about this tomorrow, OK? Your mom-"

"I only have one mom. I only have one life. I belong right where I stand."

"Don't be stubborn."

"I'm serious!"

"Let's talk about this tomorrow," Lauren said.

"There will be no tomorrow. I'm staying right here."

"Jess, what will people think?"

I began to consider this for a moment.

Imagine some other woman coming close to me saying she's my mom. I would never believe it. But somehow, I knew, I had to explain. But believing not by appearance was … hard.

"Can we go now?" asked Lauren, impatient.

Finally, giving up, I merely nodded.

………………………………………………………..

"You handle this better than I thought you would," I said quietly.

"I still don't believe that you're Bella. But I'll put up with it for the meantime."

"Thanks," I responded.

"Lauren?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"I don't think I could live any more longer with this body," I said.

"Then wake up. Aren't you having a 'dream'?" she asked, trying to stop laughing. She looked like she didn't want to offend me.

I sighed. "I couldn't. Maybe I should bang my head in the wall after all."

"Trust me- that's a bad idea. It'll only give you some serious injury."

"Then what am I suppose to do? Edward isn't being fair. He's still not waking me up."

She sighed this time.

"I give up. I don't know what to do to you. Give me one piece of evidence to prove that you're Bella, OK? The longer I stay with you, I think I'm going crazy!"

I racked my brains for some.

"Um..."

But what could I possibly say? Me and Lauren were not really close. There was nothing only we both knew. There was nothing to prove.

"How about you ask me any question," I suggested.

"What did we both do last week? Something really big?"

What was I to say to that?

"I don't know- But I have an idea. I could tell you what happened on Biology. You can ask everybody if you want, they'll tell you. Only people who take Biology would know what happened," I said.

There. Jessica didn't do biology with me.

"You could've asked somebody."

I groaned.

"I didn't know what we did last week, OK? Doesn't that prove that I'm not Jessica? OK.I got another idea. How about I tell you what happens on Chapter 1 of Sense and Sensibility?"

I said this all so fast, I didn't now if Lauren understood.

"I'm sorry, science and what?"

"Sense and sensibility!"

"Oh."

I rolled my eyes. This was just going to be just great.

This dream was vivid enough to be true. OK, I'll pretend I didn't think that. This is a dream, I tried convinced myself. And yet, deep inside, I just felt it- it was all real.

Realization struck me with unendurable and uncaring force.

"It's not a dream," I gasped loudly, enough to cause Lauren worry.

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**A/N: So how is it? My first story for Twilight.**

**OK, bad end to chapter I guess. Bad start too..lol. I guess I can't really start anything properly.  
Ok, I don't know how this is all going to turn out. I just thought of it- what if Bella and Jessica switched? Yes, yes. Let's clear that, shall we? (Sorry for all the confusions)  
Bella switched with Jessica right when she was with Edward. Weird, right?  
That would be pretty funny.  
I hate it though every time people switch, so maybe I could describe the feeling a little. lol. **

**And lastly, don't forget to review. =D**


	2. Found her

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, Eclipse, New moon or any books of the twilight series. Oh, and I just made up Jessica's parents' names, and their jobs... :D

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Chapter 2- **F O U N D H E R**

When I woke up, it was 4:00am. The sky was still dark, and strangely enough, I couldn't sleep.  
Well, maybe it wasn't really strange, because who would not find it strange when they suddenly found theirselves looking what looked like their friend's body?  
I yawned. It took me an hour, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I usually easily slept after about 10 minutes in bed, but my eyes wouldn't even close.  
Half of me was agonizing over the part that Jessica was running around in my body, and the other half was just plain curious about what will happen the next day.  
The other half, or should I say, third now, is just thinking of how I could turn myself back to normal. I tried to fight back the tears, but they just wouldn't stop from coming.

_I'm not dreaming._

That was hard to believe. But I don't know what I should believe now. Werewolves and vampires existed. Heck, why not "having a switch" with someone else?  
I know it sounded crazy, but if supernatural things could exist, it was certainly not unlikely for other things to happen. I got past the fact that vampires and werewolves existed, but the fact that I'm _in_ Jessica, I don't think I could handle it.  
Once more, I turned again in my bed.  
"Jess, stop it!"  
"Oh, Lauren, sorry. Hey, hang on, actually I need to know what I should do tomorrow!"  
"Jess, it's 4:30 in the morning!"  
"Bella," I corrected.  
"Whatever. Wait- are you _crying?_ Jess- Bella, It's so early. Go to sleep," she said, grabbing another pillow to cover both her ears.  
"Lauren, what do I tell people? Who are my parents? What's wrong with me?"  
"_Bella,_" she began, with emphasis on my name. "You tell people not to talk to you. Simple. As for your parents, Bella,- Jess, I can't believe I'm telling you this!"  
"Go on! You were doing so well."  
"Your mother's name is Clara, your dad's name is Mark Stanley... As for the last question, you're physical state is perfectly fine, so there's nothing wrong with it. As for your mental state- er- no offense, but I'm really worried on that part."  
"I'm perfectly sane," thank you very much, I said, fuming.  
She raised her eyebrows."Then what's your question?"  
"I mean, what car accident are you talking about?" I asked.  
"Oh, that was a weeks ago."  
"What happened?"  
"You were trying to cross the road. You didn't see the car. You you weren't injured that badly," Lauren answered.  
"Oh. Then... When are my parents' birthdays?"  
"Don't worry. They're both on December."  
"Their birthdays are both on the same month?" I asked, curiously.  
She frowned.  
"What's wrong?" I asked.  
"You always commented on that. You sure you don't have amnesia?" Lauren asked, looking worried.  
"Lauren, please. Please, even for just now- Even if you can't believe it- Can you at least _pretend_ that I'm not Jess?"  
She sighed. "Fine."  
I took a deep breath.  
"What's going on this week? Any invites? What did I learn in class? What did I do? What's coming?"  
"Hey-hey. Slowly. No invites, don't worry. Though what you did in class, I don't know. I'm sure your pretty intellectual, so rather than do worse academically, I bet you'll do even better. Jessica's not really that smart. I'll bet you'll stun the teachers. That is, if you _are_ Bella.  
"As for what you did...You did a girl's night out with me and Goergia the other day. Nothing important is coming. So you should really be back to normal soon."

Thank God nothing important is coming.

"Who's Goergia?" I asked, feeling apprehensive now. There must be a lot of people Jessica knew. And I had to learn them now.  
"Your cousin," she said.  
"I have a cousin? Wait- how many cousins?"  
"3. But I'll save the relatives-talk for later, ok? It's 5:00 now!"  
"Ok, OK. But please...promise me you'll stay with me tomorrow?"  
"Bella, aren't we a little grown-up for these promises thing?"  
"Promise me," I said, rolling my eyes.  
"Yes, yes. I promise I'll stay with you tomorrow. Happy?"  
"Yeah, I suppose," I said.

Lauren's answers and promise somehow made me feel at ease. This made me feel better; I felt that I could sleep now. I then shut my eyes....

I didn't know that it was actually morning, until Lauren decided to open the window blinds slightly. I had actually fallen asleep, when last night, sleeping was seemingly impossible.  
The morning was sunny, my ideal perfect day. So much for an ideal perfect day, when here I was, living Jessica's life. I'd have to live this way; accept it. It felt... horrible. No...'Horrible' didn't even seem to sum it up.  
I'd have to be Jessica for eternity. I shivered at the thought.  
Again, those tears from last night were threatening to fall, but I fought hard, keeping myself calm.

I slowly got up to have breakfast. I stood up.  
This was the first time I actually observed Jessica's room. It was very big- Actually, the whole house was ridiculously big, but of course, it was nothing compared to thet Cullens'. Jessica had a really big closet I didn't know if I should use, but since I was Jessica, I could use it. Her clothes were very stylish; I had never realized that before. It was all neatly folded, and the fancy gowns and nice dresses were hanged. Jessica was obviously a very ogranized person, as well as stylish and gifted with fashion sense.

And yet, behind all that, I could never explain how I felt this morning. A couple of times I saw how people switched bodies in television and movies, like _Freaky Friday_. However, watching it was nothing compared to how I felt.  
It was a mother-daughter switch, perfectly fine. Mine is a friend-friend switch, which was very different.  
How the thought that she had complete control over my life was... painful. How she had to have Edward. My dad. My life. My thoughts suddenly jumped to Edward...  
Edward was a vampire....Did Jessica know that too?  
I had to reassemble my thoughts before I went to school.

"Jessica, are you OK?"  
I looked up. She was really pretty, with short brown hair and green eyes. She looked like a stereotypical mom.  
It took me a few seconds to realize that I was Jessica. I really had to get used to that name.  
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine, mom," I said. She looked relieved.  
Going back to assemble my thoughts, I tried to think hard.  
Firstly, how sure was I that Jessica was in my body?  
She had to be.

I never felt so nervous in my life before I went to school, save perhaps my first day.  
I felt a hand lightly touch my shoulder.  
"Jessica, are you listening? I said you don't seem well today. I was wondering...Do you want to stay at home again?"  
"Stay home? No, I want to go to school," I replied, though my thoughts weren't completely on Jessica's mom. I could never think of her as my mom, really. In my mind she was just Jessica's mom. Nothing more.  
She looked incredulous.  
Lauren kicked my foot.  
"Ow!" I gasped.  
Lauren ignored me.  
"Actually, Mrs. Stanley, we have a paper due today, we can't actually be absent," Lauren hastily replied.  
"Oh, is that so?" she asked.  
Lauren nodded.

* * *

"You don't really like school, you see."  
"I hate school?" I asked, frowning.  
"No, no. I mean, it's just normal, you know, for every student to not really like school. I mean, how many students do you see racing just to get to school?"  
I nodded in comprehension.

"Um...Lauren, where is my supposed dad?" I asked. I had not seen anyone arond at home besides Jessica's mom.  
"Well, your _supposed_ dad is at work."  
"What work?"  
"He's a sea man," Lauren promptly responded.  
"Really? How does Jessica cope?"  
"Urgh..It feels like you're questioning yourself, Jess. It's really not normal."  
I rolled my eyes.  
"I've been questioning myself all this time in case you haven't noticed."  
"What should I do with you?" she mumbled, then took a peek at her schedule.  
"Oh!" I suddenly remembered.  
"What is it?" Lauren asked.  
"Where's my timetable?"  
"It's here, in your bag," she said.  
"Oh, thanks."

The day passed by very slowly, like the clock stopped working; where time was strangely still, but somehow, moving. You felt it pass, but how it passed was just something you never noticed. It just did.

Trigonometry was up next, and I could barely sit still while I was waiting for Jessica to arrive.

Walking from the door, I saw myself.  
It felt weird; it felt like on of those movie scenes where you just want to laugh at loud at how ridiculous a scene was. The scene may have looked ridiculous now, but it was no laughing matter.  
I saw myself. It sounded crazy, but it was true.  
When she saw me, her eyes widened in what I've thought to be a mixture of fear and surprise. She had to sit next to me. All seats were taken.  
I was shaking- she was shaking. She didn't look at me, eyes straight forward to face the board, and she tried to open the text book, but it dropped on the floor- an action that made me very well distinguished from the rest of the students in the class. Very natural- very _me_.  
Poor Jess. I must've passed on my clumsiness as well.

But the curiosity that filled me was infinitely stronger than pity. I was ready to bombard her with a zillion questions.

* * *

**Second chapter was finished earlier than expected. It's not much, but at least it's something. Anyway, enjoy. ^_^**


	3. Questions

CHAPTER 3 -**QUESTIONS**

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"Bella," I said, struggling violently to keep my voice down. However, it was not helping. I was tempted to call her 'Jessica', but after contemplating for an hour, I finally made my decision. 'Bella' was what I'd call her. Weird as it may seem, I had to make it look normal.

She sat there. Wide-eyed, shaking. I thought she made myself mute already, I actually planned on punching her. Not that it would do any good. Edward... _My_ Edward... would go to her rescue in a third of a second. "_Rescue her?"_ I scoffed. Stupid, stupid situation.

"Y-yes?" she said softly- very softly, trying to force a smile. But it wasn't natural. I knew it wasn't willing- she just had to do it.

"I forgot my book home. Can I share with you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. It was, however, loud. I could not suppress it. I wasn't a very good actress to begin with. The line I just said was so unnatural; like her smile, it was forced. It wasn't me. But then again, I wasn't me. I was Jessica. To others, at least. This terribly delivered line brought several people to stare at me. Oh, sure, it wasn't Jessica-like. Stare at your desks, don't make me nervous! I was very close to saying "Mind you own business", but the practical side of me told me not to. It was rude. "Rude". As if. Go tell that to somebody who hasn't switched bodies with you.

Jessica, or should I say, Bella, spoke.

"Sure," she answered, smiling. This time, it was natural. I mentally kicked myself in the head, saying why I ever said to borrow her book. I actually left my Trig book home on purpose. It wasn't as if teachers would scold me for it; they never did. I actually wanted an excuse to talk to her. _'Her'._ Yes, that would be a very nice nickname. But she didn't react the way I expected her to. She was now very relaxed.

She was so unfair. How come she could be relaxed when I couldn't? Of course. I'd sit down. Ignore her. Be fine with it. But I knew myself better to listen to my hopeless suggestions. They were ineffective. Like the time I thought of whether I should stay away from Edward. I never did it. It was intolerable. Hard. As hard as the fact that no one could survive without air, or water.

This time, I wished I could read her mind. How very unfortunate that I didn't have Edward's mind-reading ability. That would come in very handy. But then, Edward couldn't read my mind. So I couldn't read hers either. Could I?

I got the pen from my pencil case and opened my book.

I knew what I was doing, but I wasn't concentrating. Then, it hit me hard. An idea.

"Ms. Stanley," Mr. Varner said.

I heard what he said, but it didn't register to my head until I remembered that I was acting as Jessica.

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm marking the roll," he explained.

Of course. The roll. He looked slightly confused by my stupid question, but I looked down and started writing. It was clear that I need not respond. It was obvious that I was present. Unless of course they were really imaginative, and went as far as thinking I was a ghost. But I doubt it.

Distracted and trying to remember the idea that was just in my head- I remembered. I planned. And I loved it. It was thrilling, though exasperating to a great extent- But switching places with Jessica was not something that anyone had any control over. Maybe I could to something about it, to make myself feel better. It's only us that holds our future. Shame Alice did not see us switch bodies. It wasn't really anything we've planned.

My plan to meet him was not easy. How I would face him, how I could explain was a big mystery. I didn't even know what to say; if I talked to him again, with his mesmerising voice that blew me away, everything I'd say would all just be stuttering and ridiculous phrases. But I knew, despite of everything, that he would understand. Him mythical as he is, he should understand. Switching was no weirder than meeting a vampire. That's for sure. Would he still believe me, would he still trust me? But more importantly, would he be able to read my mind?

"Bella," I said quickly.

"Yeah?" She roughly responded.

I had a bad feeling about this conversation. The most we could say was "Bella" and "yeah?" Dull.

"Bella, I" "Jessica, I-"

we said both of those at the same time. It was weird.

"You go ahead," I said.

"Uh, well, how was your day yesterday?"

How odd. Since when had it been a trend to ask someone what happened on their day? A more proper question for weekends. I was surprised that I actually absorbed this detail. By now, I wouldn't think that I'd still be this observant. Not now. Not after everything.

"It was fine, thank you. Yours?" I asked icily. There was no warmth in my tone. Or friendliness.

"It was... great," she responded. I felt her eyes on me, as if she was being careful on how I would respond.

GREAT? Oh, just perfect. She was great. Me? TERRIBLE.

"Did you see- How's-" I took a deep breath. "How's Edward?"

Her reaction was not what I expected. She glared at me and responded harshly, "Edward is fine." She had such a hard edge to her tone. If it were someone else, they wouldn't think it was me who spoken. It didn't sound like me.

So is she trying to keep Edward to herself now? I swear after this, I'd call her a thief. _Edward....._

"How's mom?" she finally asked. I could tell that it accidentally slipped- she didn't want to raise any isues and bring up awkwardness. I felt the same. But I felt it better if it was a confronting conversation. It didn't help much if you tried to suppress your feelings. I'd just end up crying.

"Jessica," I said, not trying to hide it now, "tell me exactly everything that happened," I whispered, though I knew that it sounded a lot like pleading.

That did froze in her seat, raising her hand up quickly.

"Yes, Ms. Swan?"

"I didn't do anything," I responded. Oops. I wasn't Bella Swan anymore. I had to remember that.

Mr. Varner looked at me curiously. That must've made me look like I was guilty or something. A few people snickered.

"I need to go to the bathroom, please," Jessica said. Great idea. Confrontation was better when no one was around. Especially if it was something that was not feasible to human eyes.

"Me too, sir," I added. Jessica stared at me, with a look of slight exasperation. -but she had no reason to.

He gave a curt nod, and we both left the room. We weren't even half-way to the toilets yet when Jessica spoke.

"Next time, don't answer when someone's not calling you. It's ruining my reputation," Jessica hissed.

Oh. She still cared about it. Good. We were both standing in the corridors now.

"It wasn't my fault," I tried to explain."Hear someone else call the name you've been used to for 18 long years and you'll just automatically respond."

"Well, in your case, you need to get used to it."

"Like you have."

We were both glaring at each other.

"I have," she said slowly and rather hesitantly. But I saw the reluctance- it wasn't true.

I snorted.

"That's the most ridiculous lie I've ever heard from you, Bella Swan," I added, as I saw someone pass. I made sure they were out of earshot before I spoke again. "But that doesn't help, you know. It seems like my body has this system inside that makes the person in it make lies that sound so obvious."

"We have to get used to it. To this," she said. Her voice sounded sad, but not at all enough for me to keep my voice down.

"But we have to work this out! To fix this!" I said.

She looked frightened. I never have thought she would. I guess it's my own fault I only focused on my own self.

"But how? Then what? No one would believe us. Several people already thought I was crazy. I had no one, Bella. No one.

"There I was, lost. I didn't have a phone. You had no idea how I- how I suddenly looked at myself in a car's mirror screaming my head off! I was in _your_ body."

"Edward-"

"He doesn't know."

"Tell me everything. Please."

She sighed.

"I was in a car. In a Volvo."

"You were in what?"

"I said we're in a car."

"No, I mean, me and Edward were walking-"

"He said I passed out," Jessica said quickly. "Let me finish first," she added.

I nodded.

"So he said I passed out. I asked him why I was in the car. He looked really confused. I explained to him that I was talking to Lauren, but he couldn't understand. He told me to explain it very slowly." She laughed. "I really sounded like a 5-year-old, trying to tell all that." She paused. "He's very nice."

"Very," I agreed.

"Then.... it came to the point where I told him who I was. He couldn't believe it." She suddenly came to a halt.

"Then?" I asked anxiously.

"Then...I tried to explain this again...Then I stopped."

"You stopped?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, no one would believe it."

"If anyone would, he will," I said in a small voice. "You see, all we need to do is give proof-"

"Stop it. There's nothing we could do about it anymore, Bella. Things will never change."

I'm not sure if it was her tone, or just her choice of words, but they sounded wrong. It sounded like she didn't want things to change. Like she wants to prevent me from changing things. Instantly, I was suspicious.

"Jess," I quietly called.

"Wait up!" I said, catching up to her.

She ignored me, and opened the door to the classroom.

There was something seriously wrong with her. Why else would she completely ignore me? Why wouldn't she want things to go back to normal?

She had a some explaining to do- A lot of explaining, by the looks of it.


	4. Get to Know

**Disclaimer: I own --- hahaha ...no , I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. You may realize that I used one quote that is similar to the one in Eclipse.**

* * *

CHAPTER 4 - **TELL ME**

**Take note:** EDWARD'S POV

There was never a day I found Bella looked so frightened. She looked so utterly horrified, and it was frustratingly so, that I could not read her mind. What would I not trade, just to simply hear her thoughts?

She screamed in the middle of a walk- one thing I never ever heard her do. What surprised her? What frightened her? There was nothing scary about this place, in fact, I was not even exposed to the sun- so curiosity and shock was even more stronger. But even if I was, me sparkling never frightened her. Not even anything, weird or mythical, ever caused her to look at me with strange frightened eyes, expressions that were not familiar to me. At that second- I began to see, to feel, uncomprehendingly so, that she was not at all Bella.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but she continued to stare, opened her mouth, then closed it. It looked like she was speechless, but I could not understand why.

"Edward Cullen?! No way!" she finally gasped.

_What reaction is that? Bella never reacted like this before.... How strange._

She slowly turned to look at herself, then, I quickly caught her before her head thudded in the ground.

I was baffled, but then again, with Bella, I always was.

I carried her to my car, as worry filled me. _What had just happened? Why was she scared? What had made her faint?_

"Bella?" I called out, as her eyes slowly opened. Again, it looked different. This new expression was not familiar to me.

Was it fright? Was it confusion? Was it sadness? What was it? What was so familiar about it? It _was_ familiar, but it did not belong to Bella.

"Why... Why am I here? Where's Lauren?"

_Lauren? Lauren Mallory? I don't understand...Why look for Lauren?_

"Lauren and I were walking...."

_Was she still mentally competent? Hmmm....What could cause sudden....No, Bella couldn't be serious...._

_...Could she?_

"I- What is going on?!" she said, obviously perplexed.

'Shouldn't _I_ be asking that?' I wanted to say, but I didn't say anything, trying to make sense of what really was going on.

"My clothes!" she said, gesturing towards her body.

"Right. They must be getting dirty. Do you want to change....?"

5 seconds. 8 seconds. No answer. Bella was unusually quiet today...

20 seconds has passed. Neither of us said anything.

"Can you please say something? Before I go mad?"

"What am I doing here? Where. Is. Lauren?" she asked. She looked impatient, but she kept staring at me. Again, it felt different. This look- this expression- it belonged to someone entirely different.

_'What am I doing here?' What sort of question was that? It was like a line for people who lost their memory._

_People who lost their memory..._

Bella lost her memory? How? By walking? Is that even possible? I think not -But with her expression, it was clear that she said this with transparent honesty. And Bella, no matter how her mind worked, whether it was backwards, or even in strange loops, I could see that she was not lying; nor was she jesting.

No. Seeing as how she seems to remember walking with Lauren...

"Bella."

"Bella?" she gasped.

"What did you just call me?" she asked.

"Your name," I said flatly.

_What was she trying to say?_

"Bella? You just called me...Bella."

**BACK TO BELLA'S POV**

There could not have been a Trig lesson that passed so long. Jessica refused to talk to me at the rest of the lesson, and I was afraid to get caught by Mr. Varner, so I did not try to start a conversation.

Later...Later, I would talk to her...

The bell rang.

At lunch, I would talk to her...

I barely even listened at Physics; my mind was so preoccupied. I took another peek at my schedule.

"Jess," Lauren whispered.

I ignored her.

If only I could talk to Jessica- but where was she? Was she hiding? I was getting more and more irritated every second. Every second passing meant the loss of precious seconds of my time on earth with Edward.

"Bella!" Lauren said even more loudly.

"What?" I demanded, unwillingly taking my eyes off Edward.

"I'm not going to be staying over tonight. So til then, please stay sane."

"I've been perfectly sane from the very start. But Lauren, can't you stay again?"

"I'll ask dad."

"Please do. I got loads to learn. But if that's not possible, we can meet up. I'm still not completely used to being Jessica."

"I'll try."

"And do notes," I suggested. "Everyone I know, things I have, things I'm supposed to hate, things I'm supposed to like. What I did recently- that sort of stuff."

She just nodded, taking a sip at her soda.

I took another peek at Edward's table.

At that moment, our eyes met. He had a curious expression before he looked back at his own table.

Oh no, it felt like the first time we've met all over again.

If I was desperate to talk to him, maybe I could try to be friends....as Jessica.

Just then, I saw myself walking towards the table, sitting next to Edward.

It felt like watching a video of myself, or a reflection of myself, only it wasn't a reflection, it was my own body, and the soul in it wasn't even me.

At that instant, only one question was in my head: _What the hell is she doing there?_

Several things were playing in my mind. I fought desperately to keep one thought in my head.

Right. She was trying to stay inconspicious. People would grow suspicious if they see me away from Edward.

"Jess?" Lauren asked, frowning. "Why are you crying?"

"I thought we were already past the point of doubt. I'm Bella, remember?"

"What your saying is not possible. I thought we have already established that."

"Lauren- please. It's difficult to stay like this, and I'm- I'm not with _him_. You know what else? You don't believe me. No one does. If you think it's so easy being- being like- like this..."

My voice trailed off. Tears began falling down before I even realized it.

"Jess-"

"I'll be back," I whispered.

I wiped my tears and washed up a bit in the bathroom, when I decided that I would have to talk to Edward on English just after lunch.

I wasn't giving up just yet; not now, not when I couldn't possibly imagine day without him. It didn't matter what he thought. It didn't matter what Jessica thought. It didn't matter what _anyone_ thought. I would tell him that I loved him, that I missed him. Each passing minute was harder and harder without him.

As I turned to twist the door handle, it suddenly opened, and Jessica appeared.

"Bella!" she said breathlessly.

"What?" I asked, frowning. I did this to conceal the emotion I felt deep inside:

I was broken.

I hope she did not realize I was upset. No need to let the whole school have to know that I was going insane, like everyone else would think. Or just Lauren, in my case.

"My Auntie Edith is visiting on Tuesday. She hates sweet stuff, but she love curry; that's my specialty."

OK. So... That was unexpected.

"And you're telling me this because...?"

"You got me," Jessica said, embarassingly. "Well, see, I was hoping that you would tell me about... About Edward," she admitted.

"Edward?" I asked. Of course. She wanted to know stuff.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"What meadow is he talking about?"

Oops. Not that one. She can't know about that.

"Next," I said, thinking of what answer I could tell her without involving me exploding like a bomb. I could feel it. I was almost at the peak of my composure.

She frowned.

"Why does he never eat food, then?" she asked interestedly.

No! Even worse. I couldn't tell her that. And that was exactly the problem- I couldn't even tell her that much. Wow. How helpful must I be.

"Next," I repeated, thinking if there was even anything I could tell her.

She looked irritated now.

"What things does he like?" she asked.

OK. That was pretty easy. It didn't involve me telling his secret, nor did it involve me revealing what I did not really want her to know. Telling her about the meadow was going to be difficult. It was me and Edward's special place. As much as I'd like to help her remain inconspicious, I could not bring myself to tell h er of that place; the place that wasn't hers. Telling her about that would be next to impossible in my list of things I couldn't tell her. However, before telling her anything about Edward, I commented upon the fact that she was wearing the clothes she was now; it really bothered me.

"... Jess, what you're wearing really bothers me. That's not what I'd usually wear. And besides, where did you get them?"

She was wearing a skirt and red blouse with short sleeves. It was a nice fit, but I never had those clothes before.

I don't know why I even asked that question, because, before 5 seconds had passed, I already figured out how: Alice. Of course. Alice liked dressing me up and, and often commented on my wardrobe. Sure, it lacked much stylish clothes, and it's not expensive and that fancy, but the clothes in there was what I was comfortable with.

Jessica merely blushed, but she did not say anything.

"It's okay Jess, I already know," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Does she always do that?" she asked in a small voice. I wonder why it bothered me so much that her actions and behaviour were done smoothly, exactly like I would have done. It looked like she perfectly memorized and studied my movements and actions. Only someone who really knew me would be able to realize the subtle difference between us two: Jess had the habit to look at her nails (admiring the nail polish, no doubt), and I would just doodle in piece of paper out of boredom. Jess would gossip and chat non- stop, and had considerably good luck. I would never really say anything unless necessary, and my luck was way up to negative 60. On the other hand, maybe Jessica won't be like that, seeing as she's playing my role perfectly. Maybe she'd purposely hit herself in the head with the volleyball or something. Or maybe anyone in my body just caught its bad luck and clumsiness automatically.

"Yeah. Pretty annoying actually," I replied.

"It was actually really fun. I always wished I had a sister," she sighed.

"So you let her do this to you?" I snickered. Her hair, or rather, my hair was slightly curled and cut about an inch shorter than before. I was wearing no make-up, but at least, I looked alright. Not as bad as I thought I'd look like. Poor Jess. Alice played with my body like her puppet again.

"Actually, I suggested this hairstyle. I told her to make it not so curly, and only the ends. Maybe it would look cute like this. She did it for me. It was nice of her, don't you think?"

"You what?!" I hissed. "Jess, I -She'll be suspicious! Look, I never directly asked her to fix my hair. Curled, straightened or wavy otherwise. I can't believe you actually suggested something," I groaned. Perfect. So much for remaining inconspicious. I wondered what Alice's reaction looked like when I told her to curl my hair. Urgh...

"So tell me about your Aunt."

"No way, you haven't told me anything about Edward yet," she said.

"He...Well, he doesn't..er... eat much." I mentally kicked myself in the head for saying that Well, that wasn't necessarily true, though. I guess it was only an observation from a normal person's perspective- but Jessica already knew that.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Very helpful, Bella."

I thought up of small things, things that doesn't give away what he really was.

"OK, OK then. He likes classical music," I said slowly, carefully.

"He does?! OK, OK. Got some CDs at home. Thanks, Bella! Would you need the curry recipe?"

"Yeah, I guess so. If you want your aunt to not get suspicious."

The bell rang.

"End of lunch," I muttered, as I thought of several things on my way to English.

-----

Sorry for chapter delay. Anyway, don't forget to review. ^^


	5. Strange Connection

**Disclaimer**: Well, What do you think?

Nah, I don't own Twilight. ^^

* * *

**CHAPTER 5- Strange Connection**

It was pretty funny how the day seemed slower and slower every minute. Or maybe it was just me growing more and more impatient. Whatever the reason, the point is, I'm not with Edward right now.

I had stayed away from Edward for as long as I could endure. Now I was about to see him- me in the form of someone else.

Maybe if I thought of things differently, I would be able to think of this positively. Maybe seeing things in a different light was a good thing. Of course I never thought of what my life would be without Edward, but I can't help being curious- Not that I'd want to be apart from him...I couldn't possibly bear that. But what if I had a different life? Where would I be? Who would _I_ be to _him_? What would he be to _me?_

But...Things are how they are. I met him, and my world changed. It was as if every other detail of my life became insignificant, and the only thing that mattered was being with him.

As I walked to English, I had to think again. Where do I usually sit? I didn't want to be early today. In my other classes, I wanted to take the last seat left, because if no one sat there, it must have been mine. But this was different. I was early today. Being early was never really a good thing. It left you nothing to do.

Edward was early today. I wondered if he was always early in English. I shook my head and smiled. At least now, I would know. Being Jessica had its advantages- No matter how small.

I sat next to the wall this lesson at the very back. I felt a presence but I ignored it. I tilted my head a little when I realized it was Edward. I felt myself stiffen in my seat. Oh no.

Mr. Berty came in and greeted the class by the time the room was almost full. He said he was giving back the test papers. Oh cool. I'd be getting back Jessica's marks. "Just wonderful," I thought sarcastically. The usual excitement in getting my marks back wasn't there- just plain boredom. I mean, if Jessica did get good marks, so? It wasn't _my_ marks. It was still Jessica's.

He announced that the highest mark was 50/50. So the highest person got full marks...

And that would never be Jessica.

Edward turned out to be the one that got 50. As expected, of course. He gave Edward a quick "Well done", as he told the class that the majority did OK.

"Uh, Ms. Stanley?" he asked, looking around the classroom until he spotted me.

"Y-yes?" I asked, a little startled. Teachers don't normally single out a student- do they?

"Can I have a word with you?"

"Sure," I replied.

I walked up to the front desk and sat down.

"Recently, I know that you have been having family problems at home. I understand that your dad is not always there, and you don't quite live well with your mother, but that isn't to say that you should let your grades fall. I have seen your potential, and I believe you could do far better than that."

His eyes gazed directly in mine.

For the first time, I didn't know what to say. I never every failed an English test. Never.

So what was I supposed to do when he talks to me as _I_ failed, and that Jessica's dad wasn't there and I always fought with her mom?

Jessica never talked about school grades. I didn't know she failed English- or that she fought with her mom. Maybe that's why it looked like she didn't have a problem with _my_ life. Maybe she saw it as a getaway; an escape.

"You are wondering what you got for your test?" Mr. Berty asked. I just nodded. What could I say, anyway?

"You got 19. The lowest in class, but please try. I know you are a much better student."

Wow. A 19. I didn't even pass. It looks like I may have to cause a little disruption in my usual grade pattern. Jessica would have to get used to getting good marks, if ever our bodies switched back to normal.

Jessica better not let me fail a test or else... I don't even want to think about it.

Charlie wouldn't freak if I failed- but that's because I never failed.

So what would he do if he looks at my school report and see the D's I get?! I needed Jessica to let my grades remain high- even if that means I have to tutor her.

finally told me to get back to my seat. Nobody seemed to be looking at me. That must've meant that this must have been fairly usual for Jessica.

Today we copied notes in the board.

Ahh... A spelling error. 'Compunded', it said.

I couldn't help it. I took my pencil out and added a tiny 'o' on top. It had been a habit of mine to just write whatever was written on the board. I made a spelling error, and so I had to correct it.

"He spelt 'compounded' wrong," I said automatically.

Instant regret. Jessica would never say that. Never.

Edward froze next to me.

"You realized that?"

"No, I just happened to be... I was just looking and I saw it... I mean, this is how you spell compounded, don't you? With an 'o'? I'm not too sure myself."

I didn't know whether that convinced him, but I could only hope.

"Yes, he spelt it wrong," he said in agreement. We said nothing more after. I wanted to tell him so many things, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

Wait a second- Edward could read my mind, couldn't he?

I shut my eyes tight.

OK, Edward, listen to this. I AM Bella. Get it? I'm not Jessica, see? Jessica is in my body, so please please please see that.

I opened my eyes, waiting for a response. But there was none. Couldn't Edward hear me? Yet he just had a puzzled expression, as if he could hear nothing. But he could always hear Jessica's thoughts...How come he couldn't hear mine?

Before I knew it, the lesson had ended, and Edward left the room in his usual quick pace...

And once again, we were to be separated.

* * *

Arriving home was a little boring. I had finished all my homework by 6:00pm and so I went for a little walk. It was the best I could do to reduce the stress. Jessica's house was just branded 'Jessica' from top to bottom, and I couldn't stand it. The scent, the arrangement, the clothes- it wasn't me, and I hated it. Having a breath of fresh air in the environment that showed no reminder of Jessica made me feel like I was back to myself.

Well, a little. All I had to do was avoid looking at my clothes and tie my hair up. Simple. I walked, and walked. No real destination, no real reason- just- walking. It was in walking, that I heard music.

* * *

_Piano_... That was the sound of the piano... _Edward._.. Memories hit me, like something had pierced through my soul.

_And each memory would never be yours. Not anymore._

_Our lullaby._.. No, I had to remember. It was the only thing that kept me going. It was the only thing that kept me strong. Our precious moments together made me what I am.

_Edward... Where is that sound coming from?_ Then, I saw it.

It was a shop. Not quite dilapidated, but merely shabby and old. It was a music shop, and I saw that the door was left slightly ajar. Curiosity filled me, and I opened the door. The music drew nearer. For a moment, it seemed like I had no choice. My feet dragged me to the room, like there was somehow a magnetic force that pulled me in. Before I knew it, just as if reality took form of my imagination, I saw Edward. It was dark inside, but somehow, I saw him very clearly, like a recital, where the spotlight was just on him. The music had changed into something slow but still pleasant.

His still figure, perfect poise and wonderful music- "It's... It's beautiful," I whispered in awe.

"Bella?" he called out. He heard me.

_Yes? _I wanted to say.

But I knew that it wouldn't be Bella he would see. In everyone's eyes, I was Jessica.

I stepped up to the light.

I shook my head and walked towards the sleek black grand piano.

"No, it's me."

"Oh. Jessica. For a moment there, you sounded like...." he shook his head, leaving his sentence unfinished.

"Sounded like?" I asked.

But... I knew. I sounded like Bella... Because I _was_ Bella.

"Never mind."

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"But you didn't ask," he stated.

I laughed. The sound wasn't my laugh.

"I'm just out for a walk. I didn't know there was a piano around here."

"Neither did I. Just one of my discoveries today," he said. He stopped playing.

He looked at me. We sat there for a few minutes. Me, staring at the blank space ahead of me, him, staring at the keys of the piano.

"You're... different. I don't know how I can explain it," he said pressing a few keys.

"How?"

"For one thing... You don't show your great speech skills," he said, a trace of humor on his face.

"Oh. Well... I've learnt to keep quiet," I said with a smile.

Looks like things would change for a while.

"Have you? That would take a while to get used to."

"Better start now," I joked.

"Didn't you finish your work? That English one was quite difficult..." We both knew he was teasing. Jessica had never been good in English.

"I finished it, and we both know how easy you found it," I said with a shaky laugh.

_Uh... We did? Oh no, don't tell me I said too much._

For a second, I didn't quite know what to say. It struck me how much I couldn't talk about when I was Jessica.

"Where's Je- I mean, Bella?" I asked.

"She's at home, why?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. Then I almost regretted it. How could be start a conversation when every time he opens up something I just completely shut him out?

_because I can't tell him all this weird stuff that's been happening to me. He's going to think I'm crazy. He's not going to believe me._

"Play some more," I whispered.

"You like it?" he asked.

_Of course._

"Yes. It's wonderful."

* * *

"It's late," I said, looking at my watch. I heaved a long sigh.

"We should get going," he agreed.

"Wait!" I was unable to control the sound of my voice. My voice contained all the emotions I have felt during the week: Anger, sadness, loneliness... No matter which voice said it, it could have only been mine.

He looked back.

"Edward- um- can you- can you play the- can you just play one song before you leave?"

He paused before answering.

"Sure. You can... sit here if you want," he said gesturing to the space in the piano seat.

"Really? That would be OK?" I asked, doubtful.

"Why not? Please, sit down," he said gentlemanly, and I wondered why he was being so gentle around me. I wasn't even Bella anymore.

It was a different song, different to our lullaby... But it was sweet, mysterious and... beautiful. I felt like it had some sort of meaning, and I wanted to understand it. What my mind couldn't grasp, my heart did. And so I cried.

How I wish this moment would last forever. Just me and him.

The music ended too soon, just like the magic had ended.

"Are you crying?" he asked.

"No." It was pointless because he already knew I was crying, but all the same, I denied.

He sighed.

"You don't like my music, do you?"

"Of course not! It's really- it's really good!" OK, major understatement. It was the most beautiful, brilliant, absolutely amazing music I have ever heard, our lullaby aside.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Bella does too, doesn't she?" I had to ask. I just had to.

"She.... Actually, she finds piano... Let's just say it wasn't her area of interest," he said. I knew him well enough to know it had a hint of sadness in it.

"Look, thanks for the company, but I need to get going," he said in a rush.

"Okay," I said, feeling disappointment that everything was going to end.

"I'll see you... around, I guess," I said. If Jessica isn't clinging to you so closely. If she is and I could stand it. I highly doubted that, though. We both parted, and I had to leave unwillingly.

The night had finally ended, and for the first time in Jessica's body, I was happy.

Tonight, with Edward, I felt a strange connection.

* * *

**Finished. Oh yay it's the holidays for me! I can't believe the first term came so fast. Although it probably won't feel much like a holiday, coz I still need to get some work done.**

**Anyone thinking of clicking the review button? *you know you want to* **


	6. Diary Entry

**Disclaimer:** Uh, no. I don't own Twilight, sorry.

* * *

I didn't even know how long Spanish took, but I didn't care anymore. All I wanted was to go home and hide in my room and cry.

It was so unfair.

Why couldn't I just tell him?

But I couldn't. I tried and tried.

I called him 3 times, but I hanged up every time.

Calling him was a very stupid idea, but it was the closest way to hearing his smooth, velvet voice. The voice that I missed so much.

But... What would I say when he asks me how the hell I knew his number? What would I even say when he picks up the phone? What would he think of me when I tell him the truth? Would he allow me to explain? Would he get angry? Sad? Confused?

But the most important question of all... Would he believe me?

Those were just a couple among all of the questions that almost drove me insane.

But I knew all those questions wouldn't be asked, nor would they be answered, if I didn't try. So I tried to dial his number... but that was when I found out I didn't have the courage. So I put the phone down.

The risk to tell him kept conflicting with the questions that might be raised and the consequences that might happen.

Those 2 kept me thinking, and I couldn't decide.

It was extremely difficult for me, but the risk might just be worth it. But then again, it might not be.

There was just too much to risk. And that was the main reason why I was left undecided.

I went home that evening, tired.

Lauren ringed me to apologize that she couldn't sleepover tonight. She had a ton of homework to do, and her dad didn't allow her. I said that was OK, maybe she could do it next time, then I hanged up. Whether she was here or not didn't seem to matter anymore.

It wasn't a while later that I realized I didn't really wanted her to be here. It wasn't any feeling of antagonism or hate- I wonder why I ever hated her in the first place, without actually knowing her. It was just the desire for peace and quiet. Being alone was what I wanted right now more than anything else.

English the next day was just plain boring. Mr. Berty explained to us that we were going to be writing diary entries. What was I supposed to write, anyway? Dear Diary, I switched with Jessica Stanley and now I'm stuck in her body.  
Oh come on. This has got to be the same as being stuck in a dark room and held captive. I've practically got to choice, I've got no sense of identity- I was lost. I raised my hands, which were trembling.

"You wanted help with something?" Mr. Berty asked.

_No._

"No, I just wanted to know... Why write diary entries?"

Everybody looked at me.

"I mean, why not essays, or ... narratives?"

"Well, I just thought it would be a good idea to use journals for self-expression. Sometimes diary entries help. It would be really good way to practice writing, too."

I was going to argue that narratives were way better to practice writing, but I shut my mouth, remembering that Jessica never argued back.

But who'd want to read a diary anyway? Only curious individuals who had boring lives and loved to gossip.

"Uh... Okay."

"Why, is there something else you'd like to write?" he asked.

_Narratives, please, but ...._

Maybe I needed a diary. Something to confide in, to release my feelings. Plus, people would start getting curious.

"I'm fine with a diary entry," I mumbled before I went back to my seat.

I opened my notebook and began to scribble.

_Dear diary, _

Childish opening? Who cares.

_Today, I felt like absolute crap. _

Ok, that was kinda harsh... but it was true. In a mere 10 minutes I finished my writing.

And I wrote 5 letters that summed up the whole truth; who I was. For lying to a diary, would be lying to my own soul.

_BELLA._

And then I read it twice before I tore the page from my notebook and crumpled it, for I knew it was something I could never submit to my teacher.

...

* * *

**OK it's a short chapter- the shortest one I've written in a long time. At least I've got my plot worked out, I think..**

**Anyway, enjoy! ^_^**


	7. Written in the entry

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight.

* * *

I had poured my inner thoughts and feelings with a diary, and it felt good.

Something that didn't speak to me, and didn't have to, because it was just there, accepting my thoughts. Unconsciously spinning my pen, I stopped to go back to writing.

was probably expecting us to just write the diary entry in one page, but I already crumpled my diary entry and hastily shoved it in my bag... which meant I had to write a new one.

"Are you finished, Bella?" Mr. Berty called, seeing my pause in writing.

"Yes. Ah, no. I need to... um.. rewrite the whole thing."

He didn't ask any more questions.

Whispers. Stares.

I rolled my eyes, trying to think of a nice thing to write about.

My first day in Forks, meeting Edward or my hellish day?

_Well, none of that applies to me. If it did, it made no sense._

I almost gave laid my head in my desk and gave up writing, when I thought Mr. Berty was probably watching me.

_Now what? _

* * *

"I'm never gonna get this," I mumbled. I sat down in one of the benches, smoothening the creases on my skirt. Unfortunately, part of being Jessica was having to wear uncomfortable skirts and bright clothes. I didn't go straight home today, I stopped by to sit in the first bench I saw to rest. English was just chaos. I had to make up Jessica's thoughts when she shopped for clothes with me and Angela. It was probably the lamest thing I wrote in ages.

**FLASHBACK:**

Today I shopped for clothes with my Angela and Bella. Oh, I can't believe I'm going to dance with Mike! Bella wasn't with me and Angela, I think she wanted to go buy books or something.

I ate straight ahead anyway and then I saw Bella later with - to my surprise- THE Edward Cullen. I can't believe that he's my- _(cross 'my' out_) Bella's boyfriend! I mean, who would have thought when she was just new....

_scribble scribble-- cross out-- cross out again--- scribble scribble_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

It was a disaster. Never had I been so clueless about what to write. Usually English was fun and easy, now it was hard to find the right words.

What was I supposed to write, anyway? At least I was there with Jessica to know what she did. Well, it was better than making it all up. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts about English.

I've never had a really big difficulty with Mathematics before, but lately, I wasn't able to concentrate properly in classes. One, I fell asleep. Two, Jess was there. Three, she kept her mouth shut the whole lesson. Strangely, being quiet actually had the opposite effect on me. It made me keep on worrying and thinking, rather than concentrate more.

"I give up," I said, heaving a sigh. I closed both my text books and packed up. Enduring this body was an unspoken curse. Maybe I was fated to live in this curse.

Annoyed about thinking of curses and destinies, I walked straight home.

I promised I would go see Lauren later today. The thought soothed me, more than I expected to have felt. A sudden rush of relief spread though me- I was glad not to have been alone on this.

* * *

**LAUREN'S POV**

My friend had still been acting weird this past week. She had been acting as if she was Bella and I just had to go with the flow. Sometimes I wonder when I would disrupt it. Although I had to admit, she had improved- a lot. She knew a lot more in English and Science. I couldn't explain it... But it wasn't just academically. She seemed to have known when to shut up lately. Well, she never usually did. I couldn't explain it, but she couldn't have possibly switched...

"When are you going to help me with that essay?" I asked her. I had asked her about this the day before, but she seemed just so... so out of it lately. Like she's always absorbed and thinking about something. Sometimes I worry for her mental health. Wait, scratch that. I DO worry for her mental health. Not sometimes, but every single day since she started claiming she was Bella.

"You can get my notebook from my bag," she said, placing her shoes in the rack. I was in her house again- much, much more often this week. She entered the bathroom and I heard the sound of the tap. Shrugging, I just opened her bag and searched for her notebook. Maths book, pencil case, water bottle-

"Jess, what's this?" I called out.

It was paper- it wasn't completely crumpled, and I could see a bit of writing in it.

Jess did not answer. I uncrumpled the paper...

_Dear diary, _

_Today, I felt like absolute crap. _

-A diary entry? Jessica wrote a diary entry? Why crumpled in her bag?

Interested, I continued reading:

_Yeah, I know, I don't use that word, but that was exactly what I felt like 2 days ago- up to present._

_I switched with Jessica Stanley- sounds stupid? It's not._

-OK. Not something a sane person would say, but it didn't look like this person was entirely crazy either.

_If anyone would ever know the pain of losing a life- the life you've lived in, I doubt it anyone would even laugh. Lauren did._

-I scowled at the mention of my name-

_The pain is crushing. Many days I wonder how things would be if things were just running in its usual course. What did Charlie eat for dinner? Did Edward visit my room only to find me sleeping? Would he think I was tired or that I was angry?_

_ I'm wrapped in a curtain; I'm trapped in a thick glass. Everything I could see and hear, but none of it I have any control of. Running helplessly in a maze, I am lost... Memories I cannot share, life I may never have back... Everything feels surreal._

_What's worse is that I couldn't talk to Edward. I couldn't even be with him. I could only imagine that the life I'd live would be a lie; an illusion; a curse. A thunderstorm everyday._

-I didn't know how, but at this point, tears started to well up, blocking my vision. This didn't sound like Jessica. Jessica didn't even know how to write something as expressive as this. Not Jessica. Unless... I pushed the thought back and went back to read.

_I would always be searching for the light. Funny how it sounds like I'm a lost soul searching for the light that would lead me to new life... Except I was searching for light that would lead me back, rather than life that would lead me to a new one. Because I had already crossed, and I would forever be searching for my way back._

_I know I sound cryptic and this is a diary for goodness sake, but this is something I could not reveal to a soul, not even a soul-less diary. For every day I ponder about my stolen life, I ache. I grieve. No person in the world would ever completely understand no matter how much I would explain._

_That's it for now,_

And what was hand-written so carefully all in capital letters, were 5 unmistakably, distinctly written letters:

BELLA

The end of the 'A' made a dent on paper, clear that the person writing was frustrated; suffering.

And then it struck me. This was not Jessica's writing. Not the way it sounded like, not the way it was written. Not the way it looked. This was not even her hand-writing. I had only seen Bella's writing once, and this looked identical. My mind slowly began to absorb what was happening:

"Haven't you ever thought that the inexplicable could happen?"

Bella had said in the car, minutes after she and Jessica switched.

My mind was suddenly whirling; a hundred different thoughts at once. One thing was certain... I believed everything she had told me. This time, it was for real.

**END OF POV**

**

* * *

**

**=) Phew. Chapter finished. Don't forget to review.**


	8. Overheard

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own Twilight.

* * *

**Lauren's POV**

I had made her cry once; I hurt her... Yet right now she still talked to me. How could she stand me? How can she still talk to me when she disliked me too? All this time I had made fun of her and just went with the flow. Not once did I even consider her, despite her apparent honesty.

It had even crossed my mind that my friend was probably going crazy or watched too much movies. Who could have guessed? This sort of thing was fiction. What existed and what didn't? I didn't know what to think anymore.

"Jessica? Jessica?" I called out, testing.

No answer. _I knew it._

"Bella," I finally said. She looked up. She was now arranging the fruits in the kitchen.

"Yeah? You can get my notebook from my bag," she replied.

"So it really is true. You're Bella."

She simply stared at me.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time," she said, clearly annoyed. She peeled a banana carefully and took a bite.

"How did you expect me to believe all that? I don't live in fairy world, or whatever world there exists now that I know all... all this," I said, using my hands in the process.

"Well, now you do. No fairy world exists, as far as I know," she said, now grinning.

"Yeah right. You couldn't possibly know that," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You were so... Doubtful... What made you change your mind?" she said, wary.

"You were right. I didn't think it was possible. Your- your diary entry..." I began.

"You- You read it?" she flushed a deep pink.

"I didn't mean to, it was in your bag," I replied apologetically.  
"We had to... We had to write diary entries in class. I can't submit that to Mr. Berty," she said.

I took a brief look at her.

Even facing her right now, it was hard to imagine her as Bella. Bella- The person I disliked. The attention-seeking, (admittedly smart) and instantly popular new girl in school. It was hard to imagine that all this time, she had been the person she told she was. It looked like there was more to the world than what it seemed.

She was right about everything.

-And I was wrong about everything too.

She wasn't such a bad person. Sure, she was intelligent -and a bookworm at that. Even I had realized now that her choice of clothes were different- not the usual flashy, 'look-at-me' style. Of course, one thing that suggested that she wasn't at all attention-seeking. Bella was a nice person. From the very start, she never really regarded me the way I would if I was her. If someone asked me before if I could have a long decent conversation with Bella, the answer is no. Never in my life I could actually talk to her as if we were close friends or anything of that sort. But then again, if I was asked if I believed in "switching" with people, my answer would be no, too. If anything, I was glad I read Bella's entry. I think I've lived in ignorance my whole life, not knowing that there were other things- impossible as it may seem- that existed.

I changed the subject. If she was Bella, then hell, there were a lot of things to discuss.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked sharply.

"You think I could tell them and I wouldn't land in bars?"

"Right," I said fuming.

"Why are you so angry anyway?" she retorted. Then, she seemed to have realized something. "Oh."

"What?" I asked, seeing her worry-creased face.

"You believe me, and so now that I'm Bella... You dislike me again now, don't you?" she asked slowly.

"_No_!" I cried in disbelief. "I'm angry because you_ allowed_ yourself to stay like this. I'm angry because- Jess- Jess- oh god, have you ever thought what she'd be doing with Edward?"

"That's- That's my problem!" she squeaked.

"No, it's our problem. I'm in this secret now, remember? Besides. You were wrong." I said.

"Wrong? About?" she asked in curiosity.

I shifted uncomfortably from my position, looking anywhere but at her.

"You mentioned me in that diary entry, remember?" I asked.

This time, I looked at her. I went on without waiting for a reply.

"I understand it now. I believe you. I'm not laughing, and I won't."

"And I'm sorry to have judged you," she said; a faint smile tracing her lips.

"I guess friends are paired with friends' own problems," I said with a sigh.

"Hey, what's life without complications?" Bella joked. She finished her banana and threw it in the bin.

"Bella- Tell him," I said softly.

I didn't need any specifications. Bella already knew who I was talking about.

"No!" Bella said, looking frightened. She, for some reason, objected so strongly.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"He loves her... He wouldn't... He wouldn't believe me."

She was worrying about _that_?

"The one he loves is_ you_, not her."

Bella's expression suddenly softened.

"Lauren?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she said earnestly.

"For what?"

"For believing me. Believing that I spoke the truth."

"You don't have to thank me for that," I said.

"...I'm – I'm scared... I'm scared he wouldn't believe me..."

"What do you plan to do then?" I asked.

"I don't know. But I don't plan to leave things as it is."

"Bella- you've got to let him know. It's the only way. Anyone else would think you were crazy. Maybe if it was him..." I shrugged. "You've always been together. He never dated any other girl. If anyone could believe you, maybe it's him."

"Have you talked to Jessica after all- all this?" I asked, outraged. Jessica, my _former_ friend, has stayed in Bella's body without doing anything to help Bella.

"Yeah. Mostly she avoids me, though."

"Bad sign. She's guilty as charged."

"There is _no _crime, Lauren. Don't exaggerate."  
"She's doing something that won't please you and either she's drowning in guilt and can't face you or you just happen to never meet at the same places. There is something going on with her."

"Tell him, Bella. Jess doesn't have the right to even use you," I urged.

"Are you- are you sure?" she sobbed.

I nodded.

"Go," I said giving her a little push forward.

And with that single push, she was gone.

**END OF LAUREN'S POV**

I remembered my first conversation with Jessica after we switched...

Flashback

_"Bella, no one would believe it."_

_"If anyone would, he will... You see, all we need to do is give proof-"_

_"Stop it. There's nothing we could do about it anymore, Bella. Things will never change."_

End of Flashback

I drove my car having one goal in mind: see Edward. I grew more and more impatient- it felt like hours before I got to Edward's house. I thought I heard voices, but I wasn't able to distinguish them until I went nearer. Each footstep thudded heavily on the ground, one foot after the other. One step held all my life- and each step brought me closer to the end of my suffering.

"You love someone else don't you?" I heard my own voice say. It was the voice of my old body- my old self. I could hear my voice from the house, and it sounded like Jessica was in tears.

"Bella, please don't say that. I'll always love you, no matter what," came Edward's voice, incredulous.

My hand dropped before I even touched the handle. It would have been a good thing if everything was normal and I was in my body- but under circumstances that are _not _normal, the impact hit me twice as hard as I would have imagined.

_It's not me in there. It's not me. It's not me, _I cried again and again. I curled up outside in a ball, crying.

"Jessica?" came Alice's voice. For a split second, we looked at each other. A face I missed so much...

In a rush of fear and panic, I ran straight to the car and drove away without looking back. Alice didn't follow.

It was a good thing I didn't tell him anything. I avoided getting hurt by a minute.

Tears brimmed down my cheeks. I thought he'd feel the same way. Turned out he wouldn't. Lauren was wrong.

Today, a piece of my soul had died. Good news was, it wasn't even mine.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay! There. A chapter finished ^^ I will be pretty busy for the next few weeks, because I really need to study. =(**

**To those wondering when Edward will ever know the truth, don't worry for it shall arrive on the right time.^_^**

**-g027-  
**


	9. Discovered

**DISCLAIMER: **You already know how it goes, don't you? Not old enough to own a car, not rich enough to own an ipod, and not creative enough to write my own book; let alone, Twilight.

* * *

**CHAPTER 9- DISCOVERED**

"Honey, why won't you eat something?" Mrs. Stanley asked. I wasn't in the mood for faking a mother/daughter relationship. She wasn't supposed to be my mother anyway.

"Honestly, I'm just fine," I told her.

"You don't look so well," she said, feeling my forehead.

"I don't feel very well," I said softly.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. The part I hated about being Jessica was that my nose went really red when I cried and the redness won't go away until later. Maybe that was the reason why she was so worried about me.

"Lauren called," she said.

"But I don't want to talk right now," I said lifelessly.

"Oh for goodness sake Jessica!"

I almost cringed at the tone of her voice.

"Your friend stayed here late trying to cheer you up. You need a little... conversation!" she said, her cheeks a little pink.

"I told you, I don't feel well. But hey, there's always shopping."

I wasn't expecting a reply, which was why I was surprised to get one.

"How much?" she sighed.

"Sorry?"

"Shopping!"

"That was.. That was a joke."

"You're not shopping? What a pleasant surprise. Your cousin is coming next week, so maybe you should spend some quality time together.."

"C-cousin?" I asked, shocked.

I racked my brains for everything Lauren told me... She told me I had three cousins...

"Which one?" I asked, trying to sound indifferent.

"Georgia, of course. You know how none of your cousins visit as regularly as Georgia. You two are almost like sisters."

Just like that, I snapped off my depressed mood; worry, now replacing misery.

Whoa. Acting normal around Jessica's mom was easy, especially since I was at school most of the time and I slept early, trying to avoid serious conversations. I heard most of what she was like from Lauren, and I pretty much knew most of the things I had to when it came to Jessica's mother. But a cousin? -And not just any cousin. I cousin that was like a 'sister'. The first thing I'd do later is call Lauren... Although I was scared that she'd be angry because of my mood earlier.

I spent the whole afternoon doing my homework. That was pretty slow progress if you ask me, but still. It was something.

I dialled Lauren's number later on. One ring. Two rings-

"Hi Lauren. It's me, Bella."

"Jess- oh, right. Hey, are you OK now? What happened back there?" she said, concerned.

"Nothing. That's just it. Nothing happened."

"You didn't tell him?" she asked, disappointment filling her voice.

"He said he loved her," I reasoned.

"Only because he thinks she's you. You should have told him at least."

"You think that makes a difference? Besides, it's not that easy," I said.

She didn't answer for while and wondered if she was still there.

"Sorry," she said in a small voice.

"Sorry? For what?"

"I guess it really isn't that easy."

"Well, yeah... But having another person to talk to is enough," I comforted.

"So is that why you called? Are you lonely or something? We could go _shopping_, I suppose," she joked.

What's with all the shopping references? Seriously, I just don't get the obsession.

"There's no 'suppose'. We are not going shopping, and I'm not lonely. Not in that sense, anyway."

"So why?"

"You'll never guess. My cousin's coming."

Laughter rang through her end.

"I can see that's big problem," she mused.

"Then why, pray tell, are you laughing?"

"Sorry. It's just that whenever I picture you in your original body and your cousin, it just doesn't mix."

"Really helping, Lauren."

"When?"

"Next week," I responded promptly.

"Well?"

I wasn't exactly sure what the 'well' was for.

"Er, Well what?"

"Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"I- uh- studied for the test and I finished my homework first."

"Well you've got to learn pretty soon that homework isn't exactly in the top list of Jessica's most favorite things."

"I'm not Jessica."

"You _are_ in that body," she said.

I groaned. "I'm just sick of this. I'm tired of pretending."

"Look, I know it's hard. But why won't you try telling that to your cousin? Now just because you're already a genius, doesn't mean you should waste my precious studying time. I'll meet you tomorrow after school."

"I'm no _genius_, but OK, I'll see you there... I guess."

* * *

"So remember, Georgia is kind of like a clean-freak, so just be sure to have sanitizers with you all the

time," Lauren finished.

"What?" she said, frowning when I didn't reply.

"Has it occurred to you that I've just did two Maths subjects today and a test?"

"And your cousin is coming next week, so yay for you."

"So...Let me get this straight. She likes to eat non-fatty foods except on Thursdays and Mondays, she's pretty, fashionable, insanely dependent on her phone, and a complete 'clean-freak'? Did I miss anything?"

"Fancy... _wording_, but it looks like you don't need to worry. You've got everything," she said, amused.

"What's with the non-fatty foods except on Mondays and Thursdays, anyway?"

"She's moved out of home. They've got like... family dinners twice a week. It's not like she could say

'that's so oily, I can't eat that', can she? And- oh," she said, her focus on someone behind me.

I turned to see what caught her attention.

"E-Edward?" I whispered, hardly believing it. I haven't seen him for such a long time, and I was surprised to find him approach me. It wasn't just that, though. Edward distanced himself from people, which was why there must have been a reason for this. He wouldn't just talk to Jessica because he felt like it.

Lauren eyed me and Edward, looking back and forth.

"I- I just remembered something," she said, picking up her bag. "I'll see you later, Be-Jessica," she said, and turned away. Just one more syllable and she could've given my whole life away. I silently thanked her. I knew she was doing this to give us some privacy.

"You and Lauren seem to be on good terms," he observed.

"We always have been."

I expected him to drop the topic, but he continued.

"But not this close."

"But that's not any of your business."

"I heard you topped last week's essay. Major improvement from the student that used to have the lowest mark."

"I've been...uh.. Tutoring," I said, saying the first excuse that came to my mind. I was just going to deal about all those consequences later.

"I'd say the improvement's still pretty quick."

"Oh yeah? Well, I've got a... pretty awesome tutor," I said. Whoever that was.

"Glad to hear that. Maybe I can meet your tutor?"

"You don't need any tutoring," I pointed out. "Besides, why are you asking this much, anyway?" The questioning made me uncomfortable, since they were all lies anyway.

He shrugged.

"Just interested."

"Where's Bella?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You didn't answer my question," I said.

"Neither did you," he pointed out.

We sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything. I've been on a snappy mood since last night, and I really didn't want to deal with people asking me questions about how I've improved my marks. I wanted to talk about him; how he had been the past few days. It looked like he wasn't going to talk about that any time soon, though.

"So... Met up with Bella lately?"

So that's it. Jessica must have mentioned something, otherwise Edward wouldn't talk to me about all of this.

"No. She's been avoiding me lately," I stated. Well, it was true.

"I see," he said. He didn't say anything else. He just simply stared far across the room. I could guess a thousand things that could be on his mind right now, but I doubted that any of my guesses would even be right.

Well, just great. Because I _don't_ see, and I so badly wished I _did_. It was bad enough not being with him, but such a limited conversation?

"Have you ate?" he suddenly asked. The abruptness stunned me. He was asking me, as Jessica to eat out?

"I can't, I'm sorry. I need to talk with Lauren about – _things," _I said, not being too specific on the last part. As much as I'd love to go out with him, as much as it hurt me to refuse, I needed to talk to Lauren about my cousin. Dammit. I want to. I so badly want to.

His face didn't reveal any disappointment, but if he did, he clearly masked it. I expected him to accept it and leave, but he didn't.

"Tomorrow, then," he continued, persistently. Lauren walked towards us at this point, but when she saw us both talking, she turned and walked back.

Why was he so different today? Whatever he wanted to talk about, I had no clue. It was obvious, though, that he wanted to discuss something, and that something couldn't just be ignored. Oh just perfect- the curiosity would worry me even more.

"Uh, sure, I don't think I'd have anything on that day," I said reassuringly, and smiled. I turned to leave, and when Lauren saw me, she hurried up and kept up with my pace. She wasn't saying anything right now, which I gladly took as a form of respect- I knew she probably had a lot of questions to ask and couldn't wait to hear about. Someday, I really needed to thank her.

"So..." she began. "How did it go?"

Of all the couple of questions she could've asked, funnily, those 3 words seemed to sum up everything she probably would've wanted to know.

"Not so bad, although I really didn't get the surprisingly friendly mode. Come to think of it, I really didn't get the point of the conversation. He asked to eat out, but I can't- not right now."

"Hmm..." she said, thinking.

"So?" I said expectantly.

"So what?"

"So what do you think?" I asked, as if the question was obvious.

"Hey, I'm no expert, but there's obviously a big reason for all those. You thinking Jessica said something? Like, something that probably gave something big away?" she asked.

"I... I think she said something, but not about the switch. If he knew about it, I think I'd know," I said.

"I guess," she said quietly.

We kept walking the whole time, and I could see our house from the distance already. It was pretty early, though I'd probably just crash in bed when I go home. I was really tired after studying, which was bad. I hated feeling so drained, and sleep usually gave me that energy. Well, in my old body, at least.

"You sure everything would be OK?" I asked, nervous.

"Yes. It won't be so bad, and you'll realize she's not too bad either," she said with a smile. I really hoped so.

"You sure you don't want to meet up with her instead of me?" I said, twisting the door knob.

"Oh just get in, will you?"

"What, you've got another curling session?"

"That was two days ago. I'm leaving, so just don't forget: A clean freak, OK?"

"Yes, I'm not forgetting to bring 2 bottles of hand sanitizers," I muttered, and then I shut the door.

The first thing I remembered when I got up in the morning, was the vivid memory of last night's dream. My cousin was there, although I really don't remembering actually seeing a face; I just simply knew it was my cousin. In the strange way dreams worked, I never actually knew what she looked like, but I knew she cute and pretty, had a fair complexion, and, if I remember correctly, wore a skirt. Well, okay, fine. I didn't exactly know what she wore, but a nice short skirt was the closest I could come up with when thinking of someone popular and fashionable. I dreamt that she asked me questions in a mocking way, knowing that I can't answer them... and they were questions I didn't know the answer to. "_Have you seen the latest magazine issue yesterday? What did you think of that girl._.." I almost cried in embarrassment, only to be comforted by Lauren.

The sound of my ring tone completely snapped me off my sleepiness. Who was it now?

"What?" I said groggily. "Can you just call next-"

"_Well someone's grumpy. Good morning to you too, Bella."_

Well, of course I was grumpy. That dream made me feel pathetic with a capital P.

"Lauren. What's up? At _six_ in the morning?" I said, with heavy emphasis on the time.

_"Bella called me."_

"Are you sure you've got the right number?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

_"Bella, oh no, I mean, Jessica called me!_" she said breathlessly.

"What did she say?" I asked sharply.

_"Saying how she wants to be friends and everything. I think she's got a big fight with Edward."_

"Hmm.. You think-"

_"That it's related to yesterday? Yeah, I do, actually. And that's why it's not making any sense. What could she have possibly said?"_

"You think it's possible she might have said something in the fight," I stated.  
_"Yeah... I tried to-uh- fish out some info from Jess, but it really sounds like she's angry at you."_

"Oh no. Well, it helped make my day brighter, hasn't it? Somebody hates me right this instant," I muttered. "But really, thanks for the update," I said earnestly.

_"Sorry for calling so early. Just thought I'd let you know."_

I put the phone back in place, and I rested my head in the pillow, tired.

"Holy crap- Edward!" I said in shock. I saw him right in front of me now. I didn't hear any noise, so I was startled. He must have went in through the window-- and honestly, I really didn't know what to say. Why? 20 seconds ago, I was being called by Lauren. Now Edward came in my room through the window? I was Jessica now, and oh, ever since the 'switch', I had never ever felt the great _need_ to cry. Cry of relief. Cry of happiness. Cry because I wanted it all to end.

"Edward? What, did you want to have breakfast instead?"

"I don't want any more questions. Just answer me, please," he said, using that smooth velvet voice that I missed.

"It's nice to see people care about me so early in the morn- What are you_ doing_?" I said when I sat upright, and he swiftly trapped me; both arms on the wall.

My heart beat faster; blood pulsing through my veins. _Does he know_?

**FLASHBACK (EDWARD'S POV)**

_Alice was not herself today._

_Her head rested on the table. Clearly, she looked exhausted._

_"Edward, I'm confused. It's just not making any sense..."_

_I frowned. "What is it?"_

_I saw clearly the gush of words that ran through her mind:_

_I keep on seeing over and over again Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley ...The strange thing is, when I keep searching for Bella...I see Jessica Stanley... It's not telling me where Bella is...As if she is Bella..._

_"No, that's crazy," said Alice, shaking her head. "There must be something wrong with me..."_

_"You...see... Jessica Stanley?" I asked. With that, several things locked into place._

_That explained it._

_The expression that did not belong to Bella._

_The memory loss_

_-Which wasn't actually memory loss._

_Jessica's strange conversation with Lauren Mallory._

_She, though inexplicably, literally was Jessica._

**END OF FLASHBACK (EDWARD'S POV)**

* * *

**Sadly, it is also the end of chapter. First thing's first: Sorry for the later update! Honestly, I don't know why it took me so long to finish one chapter. I've been busy for the past few weeks, and I've felt kinda lazy lately *bows head in shame*. Thanks for the reviews, because it helped in pushing me to finish the chapter. Actually, I edited it so many times, and I had to take off some parts and put it for the next chapter.**

**hmm.. Jessica's POV? Actually, I might try that one. ^^**

**Finally! Edward knows now. And it only happens in the 9th chapter. **

**Hope I didn't disappoint.**

**Once again, thanks!**

**-g027-**


	10. A Day's Pattern

**Disclaimer:** Let's just get one thing straight, 'kay? I don't own Twilight (despite how cool that sounds).

* * *

Sometimes, you wake up somewhat able to predict the pattern of the day. Each day it varies, but there would always pretty much be the same general pattern. Wake up, eat, sleep- and all life's activities in between.

Weeks ago, I would say I was perfectly happy and content with my life. I could handle the strangeness and the existence of the supernatural and the familiar patter of each day. I would have even smiled at the knowledge and lived perfectly as if nothing happened. In just a single swift switch, my life had changed drastically. The switch had changed me in so many ways. At first I thought it was just all a dream; strangely surreal. What faced me right now was the face I've been wanting to see all week- heck, even the whole of my life. Yet with that face, I could not find the words I want to say at this moment.

"Bella," he said, so clear and concise, that all my troubles seemed to end right this instant. My heart pounded wildly in my chest.

"Wh-What did you say?" I stammered, hardly believing what I was hearing. I would have wished for his very presence weeks ago, but now, after hearing everything he told Jessica, I really wanted to believe his words so badly.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me?" he told me, tone accusing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I denied weakly. He continued.

"It was so obvious. I was a fool for not realizing it. The way you spoke, your sudden acquiring of intelligence, how you acted around me," he held my face securely in his hands and he looked at me in the eyes. Inside, I burned.

I wanted to press my hands against me ears, imagining his anger and his refusal to accept me; to accept who I was. How could I possibly matter to him when I wasn't Bella anymore?

"Bella, I'm sorry." He sounded sincere and truly sorry. He held my face securely in his hands and he looked at me in the eyes.

I closed my eyes and the tears trickled down before I could stop it. I pulled my face away.

"No. You don't want me anymore. You w-want her! You're just forcing yourself to feel that way, aren't you?"

"That's not true."  
"Everyday I wished to be with you, for you be together with me, but it can't happen."  
"Why not?"

"Do you hear yourself? I'm not Bella. Not physically at least. You can't care for me anymore. You don't."

"You don't know that," he said, looking hurt.

"You love her," I stated.

He held my face back in his hands again, rubbing his thumb gently against my cheeks. Hard. Cold. But I didn't care.

"Listen to me. I love you," he said, and with that, my whole world seemed to shift back into place. The world was familiar; it was complete. If I don't get my body back, at least I had one thing that would keep me going. At least I had him.

"But I"m Jessica."

"You are Bella. And that part of you will never change."

"Everyone else seems to say that," I muttered.

I had been the one worrying all the time. I knew it. He'd believe me, and he'd still accept me.

"Since when did you know?"

"This morning. You think if I'd known, I wouldn't run all the way here?"

"How?"I asked breathlessly.

He smiled. "Alice."

"Of course. So, did she see me instead of Jessica?"I asked.

"I can't believe I didn't see this right away," he said, looking frustrated.

"We're doing something about this," he finally said. "What if-"  
"Me and Jessica both bang our heads together? If Jessica co-operates, that is."

"No, no. I know someone," he told me.

"Is he also, uh... Your kind?"

"Yes, but..."

"But?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too bad.

"The problem is how long it takes him to reply. How long will he respond? A couple of days. It might even be a week. Maybe never," mused Edward.

I dreaded the last possibility, and I knew he did too. I tried not to dwell on that last one.

"I survived up till now," I said optimistically. He still looked pained; angry.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" he said, feeling my forehead. I shook my said, still not finding the words to say.

"How?" he asked, his voice soft. "What happened?"

I shook my head violently. I didn't want to remember that day. The switch confused me myself. I didn't even know the cause or why I turned up in Jessica's body. It just happened so quickly, before I had the chance to savour every moment I had left with the people I loved. Life was cruel.

"I don't know. When we were walking to that park 2 weeks ago, I felt it. It felt like I was being sucked. Everything just blurred... Then I found myself next to Lauren. That's when..." my voice trailed off, unable to continue.

"Give me a couple of days," he said abruptly. He looked back at me and stood up rather hesitantly.

"Where are you going?" I asked, almost panicked. He just came. I didn't want him to leave.

"I will be back. Everything will be all right," he said, and for a brief moment, he pressed his lips against mine. By the time I opened my eyes, he was gone.

Simple words; reassuring. One of the few things I drew comfort from. My knees were shaking, and I wanted to cry. Cry of relief.

_It's almost over._

* * *

"So there's a someone that could return you back to normal?" Lauren asked, confused. She was sleeping over tonight. I could tell she had been really curious since this morning, but I didn't want to expand much on the topic of Edward's visit at school. I had to wait until I went home, where busybodies were out of earshot.

It was freezing tonight, like the world's warmth had decided to flee. It had always been cold, but today it was different- It was colder than usual. Fate hated me, and now the weather decided to turn its back against me now too.

"Yup," I said, trying my best to sound enthusiastic. I rubbed my hands to warm myself up. My fingers felt like ice, especially since I've just washed them.

Suddenly, Lauren's phone rang. She briefly peeked at the caller ID.

"It's Jessica," she mouthed. She flipped her phone open and spoke.

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

There was a pause, as I watched Lauren listen to the faint voice I heard in the background.

"Hang out? Uh... Sure."

I heard the voice turn shrill as Lauren looked at me.

"What?" I questioned her quietly.

"Yeah. Okay. See you tomorrow," Lauren said, flipping her phone and shoving it in her bag.

"So?" I asked, waiting.

"Did you know Jessica and Edward broke up? Last week, I mean."

"They broke up? Really?" I asked in mild surprise. He did come back this morning, which was an even bigger surprise, but still. Breaking up with Jessica in my body? That was unexpected.

"Yeah, Jessica told me. She was rather upset about it. No wonder she looked sort of down this morning when she passed us. Ha. Served her right," she said happily.

I groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"She was glaring at me this morning. She really hates me now, doesn't she?" I asked. So many things have changed ever since the switch. We used to be friends, but now...

"Whether she's angry or not, what does it matter? I mean, you have every right to have Edward."

"Speaking of people that make my life difficult, I'm meeting my cousin tomorrow," I said, annoyed by the thought. Next to me, I pulled my jacket from my closet and slipped it on. I pulled my jacket closer. The thing about cold weather, was that you had wear many layers of clothing just to keep warm.

"You'll do fine. Just remember the ones I've told you... Plus, I'm meeting Jess tomorrow."

"You don't seem to be looking forward to it," I laughed.

"I'm not," admitted Lauren quietly.

I sat a few moments, thinking. When I spoke, I chose my words carefully.

"Don't hate her. She's your friend. When everything goes back to normal-"

"No, Bella. I know you'd want everything to go back as they were, but I just don't see Jessica that way anymore," she said stubbornly.

It took me off guard, her loyalty and our closeness. From all the time I was stuck in Jessica's body, she stayed with me, filled me up with information regarding Jessica. She listened to me even before she actually believed me. She didn't go off telling people I was crazy or run off and start some gossip about my mentality. I knew she trusted me now, and I knew that I trusted her too.

* * *

**Jessica's POV**

_I hate this._ Everything was boring and weird and confusing.

I spent hours of conversation and I was getting more puzzled by the minute. It was confusing, like I was listening to a bunch of web jargon. Really, the Cullens were a strange family... I never actually got to meet all of them, though. I've met Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett looked scary, but Rosalie... I got this feeling she didn't like me. Which is a big thing, really, since the only person I could ever think of that disliked Bella would probably be Lauren. Come to think of it, maybe Lauren and Bella were arguing right this moment. Before me and Bella's bodies switched, Lauren and Bella were just not the type that got along.

I wonder what Bella did to Rosalie to make her angry. Ruin her hair, I suppose? I just discovered how similar we were in many ways. I wanted to be her friend, but it just seemed like she had an allergic reaction to me. Or maybe Bella, in my case.

Edward always asked me if I remembered things, and somehow, I pushed my way into the tiny hole. I got away with everything. Today, however, was not one of the days I could evade him, be it an answer to a question, or...

"... We're... breaking.... up?" I almost cried.

...or a break-up. It seems all my efforts were wasted. For what?

I knew this wasn't going to work. I shouldn't have tried. I shouldn't have lived a life that was never mine to begin with. It had been almost 2 weeks of unpleasant meetings and awkwardness. I couldn't make any phone calls with anyone related to my old life, I couldn't see anyone... Yes, life sucked. How could life change in a snap? To think all I did was did my best to continue on using someone else's body, and

-did I just say like sucked?

Because in all truth, I was stuck in the most difficult position where I had to say something. It was the cruel act of of fate. When I was living a normal life, my mom and I had to not get along. Now I'm living someone else's life and did I really escape any problems? I always knew fate hated me.

"No," he said gently. "Of course not."

"Then what are you saying?" I demanded.

"Maybe we need a little-"

"I don't freaking care about space! Why, Edward? Why? You said you loved me, didn't you? Only me? It's not- oh it's not Jessica is it?" I said. I couldn't help mentioning it. Deep inside I was anxious. Maybe he already knew and he was going to meet Bella later.

"What are you talking about?" he asked stiffly.

"You like Jessica," I said bitterly- Stated it like an assumed fact. I knew he did- I knew he _would_. Eventually.

"Jessica? Jessica Stanley?" he asked confused. A few quiet moments have passed before either of us uttered another word. "Which is it?" he asked.

"Huh?" I asked, puzzled.

"I don't know if it's what you say or how you act. Something is different."

I shifted uncomfortably in my position. I didn't just get busted... Did I?

"You're hiding something," he said quietly, scrutinizing.

"It must be Jessica Stanley. Yes, it must be her," I said, repeating it like a chant.

"It's got something to do with her, hasn't it?" Edward guessed.

I immediately froze._ Oh no, I can't believe I just gave him a clue._

He left in a snap without another word, and I silently prayed the person he planned to meet wasn't going to be person I feared it was.

**END OF JESSICA'S POV**

* * *

The alarm sounded early in the morning, and wanting to remain under the warm covers of my bed, I thought about chucking the alarm out.

Sometimes, you wake up somewhat able to predict the pattern of the day. Each day it varies, but there would always pretty much be the same general pattern. Wake up, eat, sleep- and all life's activities in between. Being Jessica, I suppose life's pattern has changed into an unfamiliar one; a pattern I have yet to explore. I yawned, putting the alarm off, ready to get up.

Another new day.

* * *

**o.O Really don't know what to say. I'm not too fond of this chapter for some reason, but I just feel that it _has_ to happen. So... Dammit. I'm nervous. I feel kinda bad about this chapter. Anyone bothered enough to review? I'm kinda going crazy here. xD**

**So, a chapter done. Now off to my other fic. ^^**


	11. Tomorrow

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

* * *

**CHAPTER 11- Tomorrow**

"How was your weekend?" rang that sweet voice in my memory. It was like having a ring tone as an alarm in the morning that got stuck in your head for the rest of the day. You just wish it would _go away_.

Urgh. Talk about a disastrous morning. Being asked that once was okay. Twice was fine. More than I could count? A definite no.

Yes, I had come face to face with that cousin of mine. Her hair was a wavy blond. She was petite and looked so fragile and sensitive. There was something about her movement that made her look poised and refined. To sum it up in 1 word, she was elegant.

Her irritating behavior, however, was a completely different story.

It had took me a while to realize that Lauren was actually complimenting her when she said "she's not too bad" the past few days.

Looks like my dream had it all wrong. She wasn't rude or intolerably girly. In fact, I would've even said I enjoyed her company, only if she wasn't too... talkative. Yes, that's the right word. Her questions were so sickeningly repetitive. She tells you the same thing 10 seconds later, like in desperate need of a topic to talk about. I didn't think the word 'silence' was in her vocabulary at all. Now why didn't Lauren think of telling me _that_?

I shook my head and left the room, glad that I was leaving. After the unfortunate meeting of my annoyingly inquisitive cousin, I went to meet up with Lauren.

I wonder if it was Jessica who always contributed to the talking. Honestly, it got a little tiring after a while.

I was muttering to myself by the time I saw Lauren and it annoyed me. Being in someone else's body was crazy enough, and now I had to talk to myself too. Maybe I really was going insane.

"How did it go?" Lauren asked in curiosity.

"Terrible," I replied, devastated.

"She wasn't all that bad, was she?" Lauren asked, voice tinged with worry.

"Well, not absolutely _horrible_, she just keeps saying the same things all over again. Honestly, I really don't get the point."

"Yeah, she always does that. Jessica says she needed attention."

"Yeah, I noticed that," I replied quietly.

"She always got along with Jessica because Jessica was one of the few people who actually _talked _to her, if you know what I mean."

"You're telling me this _now_?" I said, frowning.

She hesitated before she spoke.

"It's not really something you could explain in so much words. I thought you'd understand if you've seen her. She's lonely, Bella."

I thought about it. Her constant questioning actually symbolized her need of attention. Jessica was friendly and bright and always loved talking to people. I guess even pretty people had their own problems.

"Her mom was always at work. She does have her dad, but it's still different," she shrugged.

"Speaking of Jessica matters, how was your meeting?" I asked her. Well, I had been curious about what they talked about. What did Jessica say as Bella?

"It was fine. The usual," she said, rolling her eyes.

"The usual?"

"You know... Hi, hello, how was your weekend etc etc." she acted out. "Nothing too friendly, though, if you know what I mean. We didn't talk about anything much actually. I mean, you and I never really talk about.. personal stuff," she continued.

"Nothing about... Nothing about the Cullens?" I asked, attempting to sound indifferent.

"Jessica... Suspects there's something ... 'strange' about the Cullens. Sometimes I feel that way too... I just can't pinpoint which one it is," she said quietly. She then gave a shrug.

I froze, unmoving. _Jessica doesn't know about the Cullens. _How was that possible?

"Oh, I almost forgot. Can you come over? I need help with Trig," urged Lauren, and immediately, I lost my train of thought.

* * *

"Yes, mom. Yeah, okay. Bye," I uttered, and put the phone down.

"So can you stay?"

"Yeah, Mrs. Stanley says it's OK. So where are your parents?"  
"She's been having back pains. I think she consulted the doctor. Dad came with her," Lauren said.

After about 45 minutes of flipping textbook pages, answering questions and rewriting numbers, I finally finished.

"Thanks Bella. That was really hard," she wrote the last 3 numbers in her exercise book and shut it.

Lauren's phone rang. She muttered a few OK's and sure's before she ended the call with a quick "bye".

"Caller?"

"That was Georgia."

"Oh no."

"Well, don't say that yet. It gets worse," she said with a grin.

"Go on," I muttered reluctantly.

"Your cousin's coming. She knows you're here and she wants to come over."

"Oh no," I buried my head in my pillow. She probably called Jessica's mom and inquired my whereabouts.

"You think a lot would change?" she said after a while. I knew we were no longer talking about my cousin. She was talking about when things go back to normal.

"Truthfully, I don't know. Does Bella even do sleep-overs?" I muttered sarcastically.

"She better. Or I'd start hanging out with Jessica," she snickered. She briefly looked at her watched and bent back on the chair and reached for her purse.

"I'm hungry, do you want to go out and buy something?" she said unstrapping her stilettos to put them on. Freaky high heels. I never considered wearing them even when Jessica's mom practically scolded me when I bought new shoes. I went to buy shoes in the nearest shoe store I found and I couldn't even answer when I was asked what my shoe size was. From that point in time I could've screamed out that these weren't my feet, but it wasn't like they'd get the point. I would've just been wasting my voice and I'd end up in bars.

"What do you have here?" I asked with a brief glance at the direction of the kitchen.

"Nothing that can be classified edible," she said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Do you mind if I change that?"

* * *

"It looks good," she complimented.

"You think?"

"Where did you learn to cook?" Lauren asked with mild interest.

"When I was Bella, I always cooked for Charlie. Seems he can't survive without my cooking," I said with a laugh.

"You miss him, don't you?" she mused.

"Yeah," I said, thinking about what Charlie did each day with Jessica. I couldn't really imagine the two together.

"You've got a boyfriend, you do the chores and you manage to get fairly good marks?" she said, giving me a quizzical look.

I shrugged.

"It's no big deal, really. I like what I'm doing. I like making dinner for Charlie," I explained.

"You never did tell me why you moved to Forks. Pheonix got a little too boring for you?" she said after a while.

"Edward asked the very same question before. It's a long story. Let's just say I gave my mom more time to be with Phil... What?" I asked when Lauren grimaced.

"Every single thing you told me so far was for someone else. Don't you want something for yourself?" Lauren said.

I briefly reflected. I didn't to think it over too much, really. The answer was fairly simple.

"I don't need anything else. I have Edward," I said as if it were perfectly obvious.

* * *

It was precisely in 15 minutes when the door bell soon rang like the school bell; an impending sign of another stressful day of school. Only, instead of expecting a ton of homework, it was like expecting a giant ball of questions and unimportant topics discussed for the sake of a conversation.

"Interview time," Lauren said with a laugh.

I threw the pillow at her, but she managed to duck.

"Did you watch that show I told you at 7:00pm?" my cousin immediately asked, excited. First time we met again and she greeted me with a question. Wonderful. I don't even remember what that show was called.

"Uh..."

She turned to the direction of the kitchen without waiting for a response.

"Ooh, Jess, what are you cooking? It looks good!" she said enthusiastically.

I guess I'd give her a chance tonight. My opinion of her changed when I learnt that she was a lonely person without anyone much to talk to. She deserved someone to talk to at least, didn't she? Besides, I wasn't even sure I'd see her again.

My mind drifted to thoughts of Edward. I wondered where he was now. Did he find the person that could bring me back to my body? I hope he came back soon.

* * *

"Glad that was over," I sighed in relief as I shut the door.

"You did fine," Lauren observed.

"Which part? The part I forgot to disinfect my hands a hundred times or the part I tripped before sitting down?" I said, pulling a chair out.

"No," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "You paid attention to her. I thought you said you couldn't stand her questioning. Or something like that."

"I just thought about it... She really just needed to be talked to."

"You want something to drink?" Lauren abruptly asked.

I shook my head.

"I'll get a glass of water," I heard her say before she disappeared to the kitchen.

"Bella."

I haven't heard it for a few days, and now he uttered my name with heartbreaking clarity. That voice, I could not be mistaken. It only belonged to one person.

"Edward! You came back!" I gasped. At the same time, Lauren entered the living room.

Lauren almost dropped her glass. She looked pale in shock.

"What- how did he get here?"

"There's more the the world, remember?" I told Lauren with a smile.

"I promised I'd return, didn't I? Tomorrow this will all end," he said soothingly. "I... Let's just say I kept in touch with the one who could return you to your body."

"Oh," I said, my mind working too slow to understand what he actually said all at once. Those past few days have been dreadfully slow and dull. Plus, I had been through too many questions from my cousin. The words slowly sank in, one at a time, like a puzzle that fit to make sense.

"Oh," I reiterated in comprehension, trying to take all the information in. "Thank God," I cried in relief. I've always wanted to go back to my body ever since the switch. Now that I did get the opportunity, I didn't know what to feel. Happy? Hell yeah. But... There was something more.

"You've got to go too," I heard Edward say to Lauren. I looked up.

"Why?" Lauren asked, unable to imagine what reason she'd even be needed for.

"Yeah, why?" I turned to Edward.

He shrugged. "He needs to see you too," he told her.

"_He_?" she asked, nervous.

"So what's the plan?" I asked Edward.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**This chapter feels a bit slow. I just don't feel like much happened, I think more of the actual things happens on the next chapter. I've never exceeded a 3-week no update, but then again, I'd have to someday, don't I? =P **

**On the bright side, I've already thought of the ending for this fic.- And I hope no one would kill me with what I'm about to do. .**

**For the last chapter, it's weird, because I was kinda worried about it and it was the chapter I got most reviews from. Weird. o.O**


	12. Decision

**Disclaimer: **I don't own- zzzzzZZZZZZZ- huh? Oh, sorry, too sleepy, I don't own Twilight. -.-

* * *

**CHAPTER 12- Decision**

Today I was going to leave this body.

I sighed as I hastily shut my locker to get my books. I was clumsier than usual today. I was too preoccupied by thoughts of what would happen tonight.

I couldn't really pinpoint what it was I was feeling. Was it nervousness? Fear?

- Because I wasn't really sure I'd return to my body. What if something wrong happened? What if, mysteriously, the magic didn't work? What if I was the exception to that magic?

I shook my head fiercely. No. I couldn't afford to be pessimistic. My life right now depended on hope. If I stopped hoping I may as well have stopped breathing. I had to envision a box in my mind, and I'd have to shut all negativity in it.

I tried to convince myself that everything would go back to normal and when I would go home to meet Charlie tomorrow, or if I could, perhaps, tonight, realizing that my fears were stupid and that nothing really has changed. I didn't really believe that, though. If there was one thing I've learnt from the switch, it was that life was never simple.

My day ended with the familiar pattern I had grown used to the past few weeks. After a few short conversations with Lauren and a few references about tonight's meeting, I went home.

I was reading my biology textbook when Jessica's mother chose to enter the room.

"You okay, sweetie? You've been acting a little strange the past couple of days," she murmured.

"Yeah, I'm fine, mom," I replied quietly. 'Strange' was too much of an understatement. She was beyond understanding as a mom. I smiled. The past few weeks I had stayed with her didn't somehow didn't seem as difficult and distressing as I expected if I had imagined a life like this. I'd have expected as hellish life or overprotective parents. She made both a good mom and a dad.

Mrs. Stanley smiled, patting my head gently. I didn't expect to see her. Not for a long time.

It took my awhile to recognize it, but I now identified the feeling that was nagging me since Edward broke the news to us. I was happy to leave, but there was a lingering feeling. It wasn't quite regret, and it wasn't that I didn't want to leave, either. I was sad leaving the world I came to live in for the past few weeks. There was some part of it I was sure I'd miss. Funny how this was the body I was itching to leave the moment I realized that we did switch.

Was there really 3 hours left before 11:30pm?

I watched television by 10:00pm, but didn't find anything particularly interesting on. I decided to check out Jessica's shelf to see what type of books she read- most of it were filled with magazines and school textbooks from previous years, neatly arranged. It looked like they haven't been touched for years. The magazines, on the other hand, were shoved back with the corners folded, as if the person was in a hurry. Quite plainly, Jessica liked reading magazines. The latest trends and gossips were her thing.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was 11:03pm now, and Lauren was calling. I smiled. Jessica's phone controls baffled me at first, but I gradually got used to it.

"Bella," she cried in relief. "Somehow, I feel any minute from now, you're going to say 'I'm Jessica, what did you just call me?'. Or maybe I'd wake up and this was all some dream."

"I guess it will feel like a dream after tonight. Is it 11:30 yet?"

"No, but it will be, pretty soon," she answered anyway.

"I don't think so. Time's usually slower when you're waiting," I said.

Well, it was true. Books almost take a year to get published. One year was long, but waiting for the release date was agonizingly slow, it was almost torture.

"Why do you think I need to be there?" she asked right after. Her voice was filled with worry. I could sense her anxiety from the other end of the line.

"I don't know... But I've got a feeling that it's not just for an audience."

* * *

Double layers of clothing apparently didn't seem to be enough. The night was cold again and the wind was icy on my skin. I placed my hands in the pockets of my jacket to keep them warm.

I left the house by 11:29pm. Me and Lauren didn't say much. Perhaps it was our worry that drove us into silence.

Edward did the driving. I sat at the front seat, while Lauren sat at the back.

"So who exactly is he? What's he like?" I asked Edward, finally not able to stand the silence.

"His name is Dante. His ways are rather... odd. Not to mention, his horrible taste for furniture," he grinned. "Almost half of his house doesn't have any furniture, not that I blame him."

I tried to picture him in my head, but I couldn't. A vampire with bad furniture taste?

Edward distracted me by giving out a few instructions about me and Lauren staying behind us and a few other safety precautions.

"And before anything else," he said to both of us. "Don't touch anything in there. It could be dangerous," he warned.

I simply nodded in comprehension- There was nothing else to say.

"Sure" sounded too cheerful. "Yeah" sounded too carefree. "OK" just sounded weird.

We walked to the door, our footsteps echoing the increased rhythm of our heart. Quicker and quicker. Each step suggesting my near change back to normal- If it was going to happen today.

"Are you ready?" I whispered to Lauren. She shrugged, but she looked nervous. We all were.

Edward slowly opened the door and it gave a loud creak. Haunted house effect, but that wasn't the reason I was gaping.

Edward was right. There was a wide open space ahead of us, but no furniture at all. I wondered why this was. There was an enormous chandelier on the ceiling, where a couple of crystal-like beads dangled.

Aside from a couple of expensively framed paintings on anything floral or to do with nature, there was nothing else- not a trace of anything, not even so much as a small seat or a simple wooden table.

The next thing I knew, Dante was standing in front of us with a smile.

"You came with the human," he observed, clearly pleased. "Edward, Human. Nice to finally meet you, Bella," he greeted, nodding to each of us. His eyes were twinkling, but he wasn't exactly smiling. He was average in height, sleek black hair. He looked like a real Dracula, and a scary one at that.

Edward went straight to the point.

"Dante. I'm sure you know what we're here for," he gave a brief nod.

"Of course. However, I desire conditions."

"We already made a deal," Edward said firmly.

"Exactly. My condition, however, involves the human friend," he said with a terrifying smile.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he continued.

"I will return you to normal in one condition," he told me.

"And that is?" Edward asked with a hint of slight impatience.

"This girl, for that girl," the vampire said. He pointed at Lauren, and immediately, my mind screamed 'no'. Was this what he needed her for? To kill her?

"Edward, no. Lauren is my friend," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, we're not accepting that. The girl is with us, you can't take her." Edward said for me. I squeezed his hand to give my thanks.

"No, I don't mean taking the girl," he said impatiently. "But she must forget every single supernatural thing she saw. In other words, erase her memory. This is of course, for lovely Bella's safety," he said with a smile.

I snorted out loud.

"Safety? Do you know what it would've been like if Lauren wasn't there? She was there for me when I switched!" I blurted out angrily.

"Bella," Edward told me gently.

I fought back tears.

"You can't do this," I said, but my voice cracked. How could they take away memories to suit their own convenience? Memories weren't toys to be played with, they belonged to that person. They were marks, they were etched in a person's mind. They made up a person, because their experience and their knowledge shapes their being, making them who they were.

I watched, with horror, as Dante slowly turned to Lauren. She looked ashen; speechless. He looked back at me with a cold, hard stare.

"So what is your decision, dear Bella?" he said with a smile I knew was masked with deadly intention.

* * *

**LAUREN'S POV**

The agreement was that we'd meet up today late at night. We obviously couldn't do it when we had school and we also had to do school work. We could risk sneaking out early, but we figured it could wait, seeing as we already stayed up late last night.

Everything seemed like a blur. I did homework for roughly an hour, before I rested and lay down. When I finally reached the point that I felt like I might have a nervous breakdown, I called Bella.

I don't know what led me to say what I just said. Maybe right now I didn't have much sense in me, but hey, its 12 o'clock midnight. I'm pretty much half asleep and nothing made much sense. One thing I understood, though. It was the simple exchange of my memory for Bella's normal life.

Could I deny her the right to go back to her old body and think of my own selfishness?

The answer is no. No, I couldn't do that.

How had I changed in such a short time? I didn't use to be like this. I smiled.

"Tamper with my memory," I whispered hoarsely.

**END OF POV**

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**Urgh, I am going to hate August, it's going to be so cramped. D=**

**I'd say Surreal is nearly close to the end. Really really close, unfortunately.**

**But I finished the chapter, so yay! I've always been meaning to write this chapter- coming to this point of the story is so cool. =D  
Any review would be really appreciated. Thank you to those who have been patiently waiting for new chapters. You guys are the best!**


	13. Word of the day: Fate

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the saga, I thought we've established that?

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_After sleeping late and putting off writing.... This is finally it. =D Enjoy!... Or maybe not. This isn't particularly a 'happy' chapter._

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**CHAPTER 13****- Word of the day: Fate**

I have always been part of a huge social group. Frequently, I was surrounded with girls who cared about nothing but the latest fashion, celebrities, and what was labelled 'cool'. It was full of subsequent lies, misunderstanding and frequent bitching- Hey, what's life without a little drama?

I had friends. A couple, actually. But I knew none of them would be too happy to help me if I lost my memory. People would call me crazy. I knew none of them would have considered befriending me either, if I acted cold towards them.

Some people once told me once that I couldn't decide. One week I decided to change my hair color, the next week I'd completely change my style. I kept wavering. They'd call me 'the girl who was undecided'. Right now I'd gladly shut them up and tell them they were wrong. I could decide- but maybe not about fashion. Fashion always changed. Friends don't always.

I was making a choice- Only, it shouldn't have been a choice. It wasn't even something that was worth pondering about. It was a simple offer and I only had to choose. And I did.

As I stood here in front of the one person I knew had truly been my friend, I couldn't help but smile.

I swear, sometimes Bella can just be a saint. How could she still wear that panic in her eyes when she can go back to normal now? She could rejoice. But no, she decided to defend my memory. Who was I anyway, wasn't I just a mere friend? Well, not even a friend; not before the switch at least.

She was responsible, always thinking about the good of others. It wasn't even a question. I would give up my memory any day so long as I won't be hindrance to what was right.

"Lauren-"

"Do this. For yourself."

She hesitated. I saw the deep worry in her eyes. With that, she seemed to understand, and reluctantly, she nodded her head weakly.

"Lauren," I heard Edward say. I looked at him questioningly.

"Thank you," he said in earnest. I just nodded.

As soon as I was ready, I turned to face the old man- he looked fragile and so _white_. It looked like there was something about his eyes....

But whatever it was about his eyes, I just didn't seem to recall. Everything blurred and my whole world turned black.

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I awoke with the sound of someone crying. I opened my eyes slowly, only to see that Bella Swan was in tears and I was lying in a king-size bed, tucked under thick blue covers. I didn't want to hear that cry. I knew who it was, and I was confused as to the reason why.

"Where am I?" I demanded sharply. Bella wasn't exactly the first person I wanted to see in the morning. Edward eyed the man at the back... He looked so strange, so familiar... But as I tried to think, it felt as if a slab of concrete blocked my mind. My head throbbed.

"Lauren, are you okay?" Bella said. I don't know how I knew, but she sounded unhappy. Worried.

I hated that voice. She was worried, but it was unnecessary.

Then, I realized I no longer had the hostility I once showed around Bella. It was like somewhere buried in me, there was an understanding I could not was something urging me not to bother. The thought staggered me. I couldn't answer. I couldn't talk.

And what's more, my mind felt like something was wrapped around it.

"You're in a friend's house," Edward responded promptly.

"Get me out of here." Much to my annoyance, nobody moved. Wasn't it bad enough that I woke up with a freaking bandage around my brain?

"You've been helping her with her with some Maths work. Tutoring, actually," the man told Bella.

"Yet I haven't really learnt a thing," I muttered.

"She thinks I've been tutoring her the whole time?" Bella said incredulously. Except I didn't see what was wrong with tutoring she volunteered doing.

"You can always quit, you know," I suggested. Maybe it would be better for us. I felt like she's been tutoring me for so long. Well, it felt more than that.

My head throbbed yet again. I rested my palm against my forehead. I had a feeling that more has been happening, and yet nothing really happened at the same time.

It felt like I have been dreaming for such a long time, yet never before had I had such a perfect recollection of the dream. I wasn't in a a particularly curious mood. I was surprised I didn't even care why I was here at all.

"If you're ready, we can drive you home now," Edward said in a smooth, even voice. I nodded, wanting to get out of this place. It was creepy, for some reason. The furniture... looked odd on this place. I didn't know why I ever thought that. It was as if I always thought of this place as having no furniture whatsoever-

WHAM. A thicker barrier wrapped around my mind.

I didn't remember the last thing I thought.

***

Holy crap, it was 2:30 am and I didn't have my phone. I wanted to call someone. Everything was so strange. Mom was fast asleep in her bed. Strangely, I couldn't remember where I had placed my phone.

My hand moved automatically to our home phone to call-

_Bella_? But _why_?

Confused, I withdrew my hand and sat down at my bed, thinking hard. Me and Bella were not close, that was a fact. Yet why was she the first person that came to my head? Why did I even pick up the phone?

I sucked a deep breath and rested my head against the light weight of the soft pillow on my knees.

_I'm sorry._

To who? Why? Deep in my heart I felt sorry. My heart squeezed tighter, and I could feel the tears coming. I just don't understand...

_I don't regret it._

Regret? What regret?

There it was again. I thought things for no reason. It was as if it came shot out from nowhere. Well, maybe it came from my head, as if it had always been there...

I didn't understand what it was I did not to regret. Silently, I repeated the words in my head- "I don't regret it"- Because I knew, there was someone I had to talk to, to tell that to

-But it didn't matter who it was. Even if she hadn't known, I had.

She? _Who_....

I dozed off.

It didn't matter. For now.

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**BELLA'S POV**

My heart sank. It felt good that it was there and I was still the same person I was.

There was a bottomless pit of grievance. I had gained something big- I had brought myself back, but I lost something important too, and it was the price for the gain.

In the end I never gained anything at all.

Fate and I were even.

I was sad at the thought that I wouldn't be talking about everything with Lauren, gushing about the relief so intense, it felt great.

I knew, though, that things were going to be fine now. I didn't have to worry about anything. Lauren was fine now and she didn't have to worry about anything now that she lost her memories. And Jess...

"Maybe things are going to be okay," I said more to myself than Edward. I was only half convinced, but all the same, I felt the need to say it. It made you more optimistic to think you believed in something, and maybe, some part of fate allowed it to happen, even if it was a tiny bit. Fate could be unbelievably kind sometimes, even if you felt it hadn't been kind at all.

I had said once said that fate hated me. It appears that it also had a twisted sense of humor.

Geez. Fate seemed to be the word of the day.

He caressed my hands gently with his fingers.

"She's going to be fine," he said reassuringly.

"I know that. I just... can't help but worry. Even though I'm back.... Things are never going to be the same," I said, thinking of everything that had happened. I was never going to think the same about everything. The whole switching brought everything into perspective: My life, and how it used to be; my real friends; my parents....

"It's been.... Surreal, hasn't it?"

I watched. I watched as my friends greeted me with a smile, going to their lockers to fetch their bags. I watched as Jessica walk past the hallway with a dress I had seen in her closet but never dared to wear. We were never the same, even if I had entered her body and lived her life, and we were never going to be. That was what had set us apart, even if we had switched.

I watched some more. I watched as she walked a way I would never have been able to imitate. I watched as Jessica smiled and the teachers congratulated her for her marks. I discovered I had never failed any subjects, well, all except one. Jessica apparently didn't want me to look bad. I was going to have to thank her someday.

Things were going to settle back soon, I had a strange feeling.

I forcefully turned my gaze away, back to Edward. If I wasn't going to stop looking now, I was never going to stop. It felt like I was turning away from something I feel I should've been part in- but everything wasn't meant to happen anyway.

"Jasper and Alice are waiting," he said, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. As I walked forward, I couldn't help but look back.

Lauren looked bored, looking around, waiting for someone. Her hair was tied neatly at the back today, and her face betrayed that she was in deep thought. She looked up slightly, lifting her head, as a person approached her cautiously.

Her eyes lit up upon seeing who it was: Jessica.

"Jess, thank God. You wouldn't believe that dream I've been having..."

**END OF POV**

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**A/N:**

**AAAhhhhh, finished this chapter!!! So darn happy, I feel great. =]**

**The next chapter... isn't really a chapter. You'll understand why when you read it. It should come out pretty soon, because the ending was pretty much written ages ago.**

**Although the next chapter is the last chapter.. this is pretty much the last chapter. Kinda.. hard to explain. ^^,**

**Thanks for everyone's patience!! As you may or may not know, I was completely disconnected in the word of fanfiction the whole of August and late July. If you decided I took too long to update and stopped reading- My fault for being terrible at this updating thing. Once school work starts clashing, I get lazy. .**

**SORRY!**

**Don't forget to review, because it may be your second last chance. ;-]**


	14. Final Entry

**Disclaimer**: For the last time in this fic, I do not own Twilight.

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"Another diary entry?" I almost grumbled.

"We never did write diary entries this year," Mr. Berty said, surprised. Oh. I was Jessica back then, I suppose. One week had already passed and I was getting pretty used to my normal life. I shrugged, trying to pass it off as nonchalance, and picked up my pen. This was going to be a wonderful waste of time, I could tell.

_Ther__e are things in life we don't properly see. We don't see, or rather, we don't want to stay out of our comfort zone and meet people we'd otherwise never have the courage to approach. I met Lauren and it was greatly impacted on the way I've came to view life. For one thing, I would never have never discovered how much of a good friend Lauren was. The switch had changed me- both of us in many ways we don't expect._

_Above all, if there has come to be a time where I would be asked what had been the most life-changing experience I've had, I think it had been the switch that had completely changed my life. Sometimes there are things in life we take for granted, and it is not until we lose them, that we actually see their true value. These things can be the tiny things we never fully appreciate, even if it was lying the sun, or perhaps having our own parents, which we so often complain about. The security, the trust, and even the company of our friends, those things that seem like a normal pattern that become part of our lives are actually some of the most treasured things we have that we usually never take the time to thank. Take for instance, Jessica's mom. For years they have not been getting along, fighting over the smallest things. Although I do not deny the fact that at times, Mrs. Stanley may seem a little disagreeable mostly due to her firm belief in an opinion, she could be patient and very understanding. There had been too many misunderstandings, that I think that the patient and listening side of her mother is what Jessica fails to see. Often the negative things are things we focus on, mostly because the good things just don't leave a good enough impression. Or maybe it was just damn ignorance on our part._

-I took my pen off the second sheet of paper to have a bit of a rest. One girl was looking at me like I was mad. I had finished a page in less than 25 minutes when everybody else was only halfway, or maybe even three- quarters of the page. I grinned.

_Of course I couldn't imagine life without Edward. In Jessica's body, everyday I was filled with growing dread and pessimism – and yet I got past that. That look in Charlie's face when I got home when he gave me a long lecture about going home late. I learnt that Jessica always went home late and failed Biology terribly. I shall never, ever take things for granted._

_It upsets me that Lauren doesn't remember anything. We have been through so much, we have talked Through all, however, maybe, those memories can stay a remembrance; can remain a frozen past. Although only I can recall them, it served as a great lesson, a lesson that I have learnt and forever stamped in my memory. Me and Lauren will get along, and this time, I would do it the right way. The way that I should have done a long time ago. The unexpected switch was an event that should never happened anyway; broke past the natural order; defied destiny. Although it was not something I regretted, it had been a future shifted, a life changed._

-Bella

And then I tore the page and crumpled it again, for I knew it was something I could never submit to my teacher.

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(A/N:

This isn't really a chapter that continues the story, it's more of a reflection. But I like it.

A big thank you to everyone that reviewed. I really enjoyed writing this fic. I feel that the start of the fic has gone a little too rough, but I managed to maintain the same level of enthusiasm in writing every chapter.

I have already planned from the start for Lauren to lose her memory. I don't know why, but the idea appealed to me. Bella and Lauren will become friends, and as Bella said, "the right way", not that it's wrong, but not just because of some switch. I always intended to end the fic in this way. Jessica's POV wasn't in too much detail, but I'll leave it to everybody to think about that. This was meant to be Bella's POV anyway, with a bit of Lauren and Edward's.

Any reviews, that would be a very much appreciated bonus to the fun I had in writing this fic.

Thank you and thank you again. ^_^

-g027-)


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